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Shall I hand in my notice at work so I can go to visit my family abroad?

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Question - (19 July 2023) 4 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2023)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a dilemma and not sure what to do…

I got a new job in February and I told them at the interview that I had a 3 week holiday booked - (flights already paid for), to Australia in September (I live in the UK). I was told it was fine.

When they offered me the job I told them again about my holiday and they reassured me it wasn’t a problem.

Last week my manager called me in to her office with her boss and told me that 3 weeks was too long and could I go for only 2 weeks instead.

I explained to her that I couldn’t cut my holiday as all my family live there and every week there was an important event- I have my sisters wedding, my nephews first communion, my grandmothers 95th birthday and my parents 50th wedding anniversary.

I also have a cousin with a terminal health issue and doesn’t have long left.

Last time I got to see all my family was -15 years ago as a few of us are in different countries so arranging a holiday when we can all make it is near impossible.

I asked her why it was an issue as in my interview (that she conducted) and when I accepted the job (from her) i mentioned this to her and she told me it was ok.

She played dumb saying she “didn’t remember”. Luckily I had a copy of the paperwork which stated all this on, which I showed her but she seemed oblivious.

I think she was trying to cover her back in front of her boss but I feel it was unfair of her to ask me to cut my holiday short and play ignorant.

This will not happen again and is a one off trip. My manager has told me to think about how I can shorten my trip but there’s no way I can.

I completely understand my employer has a right to not authorize any pre booked holiday but my issue is that I told them before they even offered me the job and was reassured it wouldn’t be an issue.

Had they indicated in any way this would be an issue I would have turned down the job.

My husband and my in laws have suggested handing in my notice at work as I’m in high demand in the particular job role I do, so I’d have no issue getting another job. I have to give 4 weeks notice so if this is the best thing to do I need to make a decision.

Can anyone advise?

View related questions: anniversary, at work, cousin, different countries, grandmother, wedding

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (20 July 2023):

Honeypie agony auntYou have the paperwork where they agreed to you taking 3 weeks, so yeah I'd take 3 weeks.

Does your place of work have an HR department?

If so, go talk to them.

If they don't I'd hand in the notice - to be fair. She might renege on you only taking 2 weeks if she stands to lose you completely. I'd call her bluff.

If your job is in high demand then all the more reason for you to hand in your resignation.

This trip is not your going to Ibiza to get drunk and screw people, it's for IMPORTANT family events.

She is a pisspoor supervisor/manager. Maybe she DID tell you at the interview that 3 weeks were OK (without having gotten the OK from the boss first - however, in HER position she should have known whether it would be OK or not at the interview and not lied to you).

Doesn't sound like a good manager or work place if they can play "ignorant" over this.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2023):

This is news to me. I thought employers had no choice but to honour prebooked holidays so long as you notify them at interview.

Anyhow, this is a no brainer and shouldn't have even been a question - hand your notice in and ensure you get you holiday pay added on.

Jobs come and go, we change them every couple of years anyway. Holidays like this are once in a lifetime and you may not get to do it again. Weddings etc only happen once too and your family will be devastated at you not being there.

Give your notice when the time comes and enjoy your holiday. We only live once and all that!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2023):

I would tell them that you will be taking the holiday as discussed during the interview and that if they won't allow it you will have no option but to resign in order to go. You can explain it is a once in a decade kind of trip. If they don't respect that then personally I would start looking for another job as its a sign of the type of employer that they are.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2023):

If you advised them of the 3 week break then you have every right to take it. I am guessing that they are worried that allowing you this length of time might set a precedent. I would call their bluff (don't threaten them but have the ace card up your sleeve) and set a deadline by which you need a definitive response. If they persist with asking you to reduce it and you are confident you can find work elsewhere then I would hand your notice in. Important family time cannot be regained easily. You would think after a 2 year pandemic they would grasp that. They also don't sound like very accommodating or kind employers anyway.

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