A
female
age
30-35,
*tarburst11
writes:I am a college student and fairly religious so I understand this post will sound really bad of me. I'm also a virgin because I'm waiting to share that with the right guy. After a bad breakup with my most recent boyfriend, I met a guy at a party and we made out briefly after. I really liked his personality but learned he was a daily drug user and suffered from anger problems. I knew he wasn't my type and he still asked me out anyway although i was VERY VERY clear that I would not date him. My fault is that I would respond when he texted me. Usually he would text me compliments and give me attention. I know this is so shallow but I did like it and then his texts got sexual (no pictures, just describing scenarios). He texts me EVERY DAY and I feel trapped, like I can't get rid of him. But I always end up blocking, then unblocking his number because I feel bad. We fight a lot and have only met once!! The other night (I don't know WHY I did this...) I opened up about one of my fantasies of bringing another girl in. I've never opened up about any of my fantasies before but I just felt like sharing it and of course he got REALLY turned on and was very descriptive. I felt uncomfortable and told him that wasn't me, I can't behave like this and apologized. I was disgusted with myself because I can't believe I told him and the way he kept talking about my fantasy made me feel sick.**Let me be VERY clear: I am only attracted to men and have had several serious relationships with men. I have never done anything with another girl and honestly have no desire to do so.That fantasy is just something in my head but I have NO desire to act upon it and never find myself attracted to girls. I never ever tell guys because then I feel like they would suggest we try it and I realllllyyy don't want to. It's just something in my head. So I blocked him again after this conversation and that's been 3 days. He messaged me on Facebook and I only responded with one word. But I'm left just feeling GROSS for talking to him like that and I feel guilty because I don't believe sexting is good at all. I'm too embarrassed to tell anyone else, but I've explained how he won't leave me alone to friends and family and they suggest I just cut off all ties. Unfortunately, I miss him when I don't hear from him and want to be sexual with him but he does use marijuana daily, has no job and a DUI so DEFINITELY not what I'm looking for. Does anyone have any advice for me please?? Thanks!
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female
reader, largentsgirl89 +, writes (6 June 2013):
 The thrill of a bad boy to an innocent virgin. Oh yeah. Been there and it went very badly.
I would listen to your friends and family and severe ties. He doesn't sound like he is good for you at all, and you two probably don't have anything in common aside from sexuality and desire. You knew before you responded to his texts that he was a troubled guy and yet you still responded. You led him on and now he is upset with you for that as most guys would be.
Change your number and block him on facebook. Don't speak with him anymore. I know it's really nice to get complimented and to have someone pay attention to you, but you shouldn't engage sexually with someone just based on that. Wait for the right guy. I really wish I would've. I got pregnant and left from my "bad boy."
Good luck to you.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (6 June 2013):
 You are a sexual person... that's okay and isn't wrong. Your desire to be sexual with him is because he's showing you attention that makes you feel good, desired and wanted. This is natural, but can be dangerous to your choices where you're supplementing something you lack, with someone who can only "fictitiously" fill that void. You need to find out what it is within you that is causing you to desire someone who may not be good for you.
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A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (6 June 2013):
Just because you're a virgin, doesn't mean you won't have sexual urges. I'm guessing this guy brings out the sexual side of you and if you're honest with yourself, you enjoy it. It's ok to have fantasies and not live them out. Lots of people have fantasies that they'll never live out so don't worry too much. As you've pointed out, this guy has faults e.g drug taking. You seem to realise he's wrong for you but the sexual element is keeping you hooked. You're an adult and sexting someone whether you're a virgin or not, or whether you want to date that person is irrelevant and definitely not something to be ashamed of. But I'm guessing you may be abit shy and either embarrassed or scared of your sexual urges, fantasies etc I'd advise you maybe explore these in a way that makes you comfortable and is safe. If this guy is grossing you out, I'd suggest you ask a friend to completely delete his number from you phone as well as his f.book friendship.
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