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Sex seems to be the his main focus. Sould I go on another date?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2010) 7 Answers - (Newest, 25 February 2010)
A female age 41-50, anonymous writes:

Hi,

I ran into this guy that I use to work with last year. He had gotten a divorce and asked me on a date. I accepted the. Well, of course he tried to sleep with me,on the first date but I didn't.

On our second date we had a talk and he told me he wasn't looking for a commited relationship, in which i understood and I told him I was looking for something long term that could become more some day. We had a little fall out about the sex thing, but he said he wanted to date as friends and I said ok.

As time pass he decided to stop the dates because he wanted someone he could get sex from. We ended on good terms, because I understood his wants and he said he did mind.

Well, after about a month he said he miss hanging out with me and wanted to hang. That was fine with me, but after two dates he was asking me about sex again. I know most people think it's okay and I guess it's fine if both of you want to do it, but at my age now I WANT to be more wiser. I don't have anything against sex, but I'm not just gong to do it because someone wants to do it. When I was yonger I did it and it got me no where. I want to share that part of me with someone who loves me.

I know this guy is going to ask me on another date, should I date or leave this alone?

View related questions: divorce

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A male reader, goodguy11 United States +, writes (25 February 2010):

Definitely not a good idea to keep going on dates with this guy. Obviously he still has issues from his divorce and I don't think you want to be in the middle of it. He just wants to get laid and will keep on asking you till he gets it. He doesn't care about your feelings at all because he knows you're looking for something long term and it doesn't look like he cares what you said to him. Even if he tells you he wants to commit to you can you really believe him or is this an attempt to just get in your pants. Just be careful with his guy. Good luck to you.

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A female reader, Laura1318 Malaysia +, writes (25 February 2010):

Laura1318 agony auntIf you are going on a future date with him , he could infer that you are still interested in him and if he keeps pestering you for sex, you may one day relent.

You are both incompatible as you have different objectives..He is only looking for sex without any commitments while you are looking for a long term commitment.

If you enjoy his company and he changes his outlook, then someday the twain shall meet.

Do you think you can tame this wild stallion and domesticate him ?

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (25 February 2010):

No, no no. Don't see him again. He just wants sex. He doesn't even want friendship. Just the sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010):

I wouldn't go out with him anymore. What's the point? He is going to bug you for sex, which is annoying, and what are you getting out of it that drives you to continue seeing him? Do you think you will be able to change his mind about having a relationship with you, I doubt it.

You ARE doing the right thing by holding off on sex. You will be able to weed out the scumbags that are just trying to get in your pants and you will find a nice guy. Be prepared, this might take a while! There are many more guys out there looking to get laid than there are looking for relationships.

You will gain confidence and understanding of the process as you go out on more dates. It will feel good in the end, not having wasted time on guys that would dissapear as soon as you have sex with them, and your feelings won't be hurt. Those guys would not have been any more interested in you if you had had sex with them! Now go have some fun :)

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A female reader, Miamine United Kingdom +, writes (25 February 2010):

Miamine agony auntDate him if you enjoy his company, but everytime you meet he's going to ask you for sex. He's also made it clear, that even after you have sex, he's not looking for a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship. He likes you, but it's the sex that he seems mostly interested in.

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A female reader, countrygal462 United States +, writes (25 February 2010):

countrygal462 agony aunti think you should leave it alone. he seems to want only one thing. sex. and thats asking to much even though u have already said no. i think it will be the same eachtime. and it is not worth it.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2010):

Leave it alone. You will only feel empty after sex. You seem to have your head together and know what you want, don't settle for less.

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