A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I have been sexually active for 8 months now, and sex still hurts.I use lubrication in which helps but I still find that sex is painful more than enjoyable and even at times where sex doesn't hurt, I'm expecting it to hurt and therefore cannot relax and enjoy it I feel like i've been ripped, and ive even stopped having sex for a period of time to see if it was ok.At times it wont hurt but i find that most of hte time it does end up hurting and I'm left feeling stinging.Plus, i dont feel intercourse feels good and therefore can't seem to orgasm or cum and my boyfriend is now starting to panic because he obviously wnats me to enjoy sex.But the thing is sex doesn't even feel good and even when it's not hurting it just feels like i'm being poken in and out by a stick or something!Nothing arousing atall :(Can anyone give me advise atall?
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female
reader, nellynelly1305 +, writes (8 September 2008):
 I might be wrong, but it could be because you are tense and not relaxed whenever you start having intercourse, it happens in your subconscious, bacause you've had bad experiences before, now you just get nervous and tense whenever your about to have it without even realising it. Maybe you should have a break from sex and when you feel ready, have it with someone you love and feel comefortable with (boyfriend). Another thing, maybe try changing possitions. good luck!
A
female
reader, SugarCookie  +, writes (8 September 2008):
You dont give much information as to what you do sexually so i'm going to make some assumptions.
I'm going to assume that your boyfriend is a nice size guy and that you get fingered.
Being fingered can cause the stinging. he might be cutting you with his finger nails without you knowing which then gets aggrivated by the friction and the lube. So make sure he not only cuts but files his nails.
Next about the pain. My guess is that your guy is longer than 6 inches which is how deep your cirvix is. If you are having sex in missionary then when he goes to thrust toward you thrust toward him too but push your butt down. This will limit how deep he can go and should be able to help with the pain.
As far as not enjoying it when it doesn't hurt that seems like a mental thing and it could have something to do with your past or the intimacy between you and your boyfriend but I cant assume there so I cant help there.
I hope this helps!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 September 2008): Hello
I felt the same way during sex until i learned that tightening the muscle in your virgina will give you a better and stronger feeling, I am sorry i cannot discribe how to do, but i can recommend that you try it.
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A
female
reader, placebo_mad +, writes (8 September 2008):
your thinking well too much about it. because you think its going to hurt your tensing up which make s it hurt more so its a vicious circle. with your partner just have some foreplay one evening. get each other real turned on but don't have sex. then the next night do the same and really relax. maybe have a glass of wine to take the edge off things. if you feel turned on and not thinking bout it give sex ago. dont force anything. its all pyscological.
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