A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I knew there was something special about this person from the first time I saw him. Call it love or lust at first sight, call it what you will but it was only until recently I began to think of the term 'Soul mate'. Subsequently after first meeting there was a lot of staring at each other and smiling and conversations where I felt so familiar and comfortable than I had ever felt before with anyone and I am certain that he felt the same way. The typical cliched butterflies and racing heart were also present and still are. I care deeply for this man and I have a connection with him like no other. I used to think my feelings would disappear in time but after 8 years I still feel very strongly about him. Unfortunately upon my quest to find out everything about this man I discovered that he was indeed married. Though despite this I never once wished them to split up as all I wanted was for him to be happy. Some years later he told me he had separated from his wife, I was not jumping for joy as the break-up of any marriage is not something that should be glorified. At the time I had also recently come out of a long-term relationship. So there we were, two single people who undoubtedly had an unexplainable attraction. So why didn't I do anything about my feelings for him!?!.. Yes, he could have pursued me but he is quite a bit older than me and an older man asking a younger woman out may be considered more risky and particularly as I believe him to be somewhat shy, as am I, so the risk of rejection may have discouraged him from making a move. I have regretted this missed opportunity ever since and feel that it may have been my one and only chance to get to know him better.There is not a day goes by where I do not think of him but I have not seen him around for some time which bothers me. I can't stand the thought of never seeing him again. I have a strong yearning and longing just to see his smile and hear his angelic voice again. I truly hope to see him again and once again encounter the electricity between us.My question is, if I was to never see this wonderful man again, how do I deal with this? Am I doomed to forever have him on my mind knowing I can never be near him again. Has anyone else been separated from a potential 'soul mate', or felt like there was the one that got away?I know there are people out there who perhaps do not believe in the existence of soul mates. But what really matters is how someone FEELS as feelings cannot be denied. Everything else is irrelevant including the words we use to describe something and whether other people believe in these concepts or not. Of course we need to be self aware in understanding how we feel about another person, such as distinguishing whether we are merely infatuated with someone or truly love them. However, in my own heart I know that there is something connecting us whatever the term to describe it which makes it very real. Any input will be much appreciated.Thanks
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 July 2011): Thank you for your replies!
I'm glad everything worked out for you Claraw1, it makes me smile when someone finds happiness in the end!
I have no way of contacting this man so I have to rely on seeing him (which I don't). I have tried searching for him on the internet but had no luck. I guess the only option I have left is just to get on with my life as impossible that seems to be. Just like Ironman777 pointed out, they run your life, he is always on my mind. I think pain will always be coupled with love because love isn't perfect and people are not perfect. Things don't always work out and people come and go in our lives and it may hurt, possibly for a very long time but we have to deal with it as best we can and the world keeps turning.
What bothers me about getting into other relationships, which at some point i'll probably have to do, is that i'll still be thinking of him because I don't see my feelings disappearing anytime soon or even at all. So how can I give 100% of myself to someone else? Is that not just settling? Or is that just the price to pay for a 'Soul mate' connection?
Whatever happens, he has made such an impact on my life and has been permanently imprinted on my mind so it is very unlikely I will ever forget about him.
A
male
reader, ironman777  +, writes (23 July 2011):
My last girlfriend who I went out with for a year was my soul mate in every way except for timing! I am still deeply in love with her and dont know how anyone will measure up to the feelings I had for her - they run your life, your every waking moment thinking of them and then when it comes to an end, it hurts so much....makes you scared to even try again with someone else are all loving relationships doomed to be ones that hurt one or the other of the partnership?
My advice is your going to have to move on somehow, but dont rush the process - let your grief be real and cry if you want, be angry if you want, be happy with someone else if you want. You only have one life and there maybe someone else out there you just have to be open to finding them.
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A
female
reader, Claraw1  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 I know exactly the situation you describe, I have been there and done that. I was convinced that I would never see him again. Then it became too much for me and I looked him up on facebook, and found him again. He started seeing someone and as I would never come between them as all I wanted was him to be happy, I backed away. They broke up and after a while he contacted me again. Now he and I are together, and are very happy. I realised in the end it would be better for me to try and contact him and take the risk of feeling the hurt of rejection, than to always be wondering "what if" and wishing that it could have been, it was the best decision I ever made. I hope that you find your way and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
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A
female
reader, janniepeg  +, writes (22 July 2011):
 I believe in soul mates, many of them in my life. If he was your one and only soul mate, he can't get away, and if he did, he's not really your soul mate. The definition of a soul mate, for me, is that there is some divine intervention that brings you together, that strong force, no matter how much you resist it it comes back to you. If you believe so strongly that he is your soul mate all you have to do is leave it to God. Perhaps you should really talk to this older man and find out, for the truth, what he really feels about you. Separated means the possibility to remaind married. Until he's officially divorced he is not yours.
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