A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm in a long-distance relationship with a guy I haven't seen in person in 2 years. He tells me that he loved my body when he saw me last (we were not together at that point, I learned this after the fact) and I am the same size now that I was then -- five pounds lighter, actually. But I'm so worried that he's remembering me as having a better body than I do. In the past, he's had a real thing for looking at hot girls on Myspace - swimsuit models and the like. (He does not do this anymore because I told him that it bothered me.) At 5'4 and 125 pounds, I'm no swimsuit model. I know it's childish to feel so insecure because of this, but it's easy to see what he likes and I'm 15 or 20 pounds off of that. Aside from losing weight (which I'm currently in the process of doing), how can I stop stressing so much about this? :(
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female
reader, maverick494 +, writes (3 April 2011):
Your guy likes looking at hot girls the way I like looking at hot guys. Doesn't mean that I need my bf to look like a walking Armani ad. We all appreciate beauty but that doesn't mean we all get swept up in it.
Sure, the adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is true in some ways, but it won't change a curvy young woman into a Victoria's Secret model. If he liked your body then he'll like it now. No need to lose a bunch of weight and turn into something you think he wants while there's no saying that is what he wants.
If he really was so hung up about slim model like girls he would have chased them instead of keeping this LDR with you. Don't change into someone you're not out of insecurity. There's a reason he picked you. Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.
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