A
male
age
30-35,
*bsessedbloke
writes:Okay, weird question. I can't ask my friends so I am turning to dearcupid as usual. I have a female housemate who is a nudist, although she refers to herself as a naturist. What this means is she doesn't like to wear clothes. Yes I know it's weird! Actually she is more like a naturist-wannabe because she has never been to a nudist resort. I have accidentally bumped into her naked self in the past, so I know her secret. It was awkward in the beginning, but nowadays she seems quite comfortable being naked in front of me and doesn't try to cover up.I have been working from home lately due to the coronavirus epidemic and have bumped into her undressed self seven times already, usually when she was walking from her bedroom to the bathroom. Sometimes she even stopped to have a conversation with me. Last Sunday I needed help carrying an IKEA flatpack from my car in the garage so I knocked on her room door for help. She didn't bother getting dressed! She helped me carry the flatpack and even helped me assembled the IKEA desk. She only put on her clothes after had her shower!!!I usually pretended that she wasn't naked but this time I asked her if she is a Nudist. She said officially no but she wanted to try visiting a naturist resort someday. She always wanted to but she didn't have anyone to go with. Her ex boyfriends have all criticised her and were not supportive of her.I am curious about what she said next. She asked me if I would like to backpack in Europe with her and visit a nudist resort with her someday, just the two of us. She said Europe because she was afraid of bumping into her friends or family.She said "...she is lucky to have me...", "...happy that she can be herself around me...". Is she implying that she has feelings for me? In the past she always referred to me as her best friend or her brother. Intentionally or not, why has she been creating all this sexual tension lately?Is it possible for friend zoned type of relationships to turn romantic? She is not in a relationship right now and neither am I.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2020): I'm neither swayed, phased, or bothered by your "disappointment" in me. You're entitled to your opinion, and I am entitled to mine. This is an open-forum for seeking advice and opinion; and opinion and judgement will be based on the information you provide. You don't know me either, do you?
Your narratives concerning this woman have been centered around her running around the place with no clothes on. It has been the subject of your dissertation on her nudism. If you know the definition of the word "exhibitionist," and reread your past and most recent essays; it's easy to conclude she is an exhibitionist. Nobody said she wasn't a good person; and you made your own judgement that being an exhibitionist is a bad thing. If you've caught her numerous times without her clothes on, why wouldn't the other men in the house? It's a no-brainer that if YOU continuously catch her undressed by surprise, one could surmise any other fellow living there could show-up unexpectedly. Unless she's a halfwit, I think she is aware of that.
"It is obvious she is sexually attracted to me as well. I have been working out, eating healthy, wearing nice clothes, got a good job. I believe she has found that the right man has always been right in front of her."
Then you don't need anyone's advice or opinion. You've got it all figured-out. Just one thing. If she was into you, there would be no doubt about it. She's far from being shy. She'd let you know just like all the "douche-bags" she has been with...as you call them. What gives you a right to judge them? Her personal-relationships with other men is none of your business. You're judging her not to know what she's doing by overlooking you.
I guess Honeypie and I aren't the only ones jumping to conclusions, or being judgy.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (24 April 2020):
 You might feel we have judged her too harshly (and maybe we have) but I think the fact that she USED to be fat and no longer is, might BE why she is enjoying SHOWING off her body, to you - her room-mate and her exes.
And honestly, if people want to be naked in their own home I don't care, but when you SHARE a home with a room-mate, there is such a thing as respect and modest. Throwing on a shirt or robe is NOT going to be "too much work".
And honestly? It seems a little attention seeker-ish. Whether you LIKE to hear that or not.
You are obsessed with her and it's unhealthy. Because you build this skyscraper sized pedestal for her to stand on so you can worship her, and she is fine with that. However, while you are busy worshiping HER you won't meet a potential GREAT partner for yourself. She isn't it.
That the the whole point of my answer. Take it as you will. It's ok.
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A
male
reader, obsessedbloke +, writes (22 April 2020):
obsessedbloke is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI must say I am disappointed by Honeypie and Wiseowl. How could you pass judgement on her if you have never met her? Calling her crazy. She is one of the sweetest, kindest souls you will ever meet. And wiseowl, I am really offended that you called me a pervert. I have never spied on her or engineered any of those chance encounters. Yes I will be honest, I do enjoy looking at her and appreciating what God gave her. But let's be honest, which straight bloke doesn't.It is cruel to call her an exhibitionist. And jumping to the conclusion that she parades naked in front of other guys. Only the both of us live in the same house. Besides me, only her ex bfs have seen her naked. Now jumping to conclusion that I am just interested in having sex with her, terrible accusation. You don't know how much I care for her. I love her though she doesn't know it. If today she were to tell me that she has feelings for me, I would propose to her in an instant and marry her. We share a special bond. We have been staying under the same roof for years. She cares about me. She cooks for me, makes sure I eat healthy, tried to convert me to a vegetarian, and failed. We share some common interests, are dog people, and are fitness maniacs. Well she turned me into a fitness maniac. Most importantly she doesn't judge me. Some of the girls I have dated criticised me for playing video games even though it's just 2 hours a week. Calling me a man child. My housemate even games with me sometimes. She doesn't criticise me for buying my Subaru WRX. She helps out with my car oil change sometimes. How cool can a girl be? Right?Well occasionally we have arguments. She is sometimes lazy with her share of the house chores. Often wakes up at 12 noon. But she is hardworking in other aspects. She exercises twice a day, cooks elaborate healthy meals for us. Volunteers at the animal shelter.We had a fight a few months ago about house chores but have patched up since. Sometimes I actually feel like we are a married couple. I mean living together, fighting, taking care of each other and all that, though not sleeping with each other.I am not sure when I started having romantic feelings. We we were childhood friends and grew up together. At one stage she was an obese kids and didn't have many friends and was bullied at school. I was the only one who hung out with her. She is no longer fat she is a gorgeous woman today. In fact too gorgeous for me I never saw her as a potential girlfriend. Plus she used tohave a bossy attitude and bossed me around at times, but now I realised it was in a big sister way. Always felt platonic with her. And something weird about me was I did not get sexually attracted to women until I was 16, a bit of a late bloomer. I used to be obsessed with my hobbies. Video games, model airplanes, model cars, arborist interests and so on. I was diagnosed at the age of 18 as a highly functioning autistic with Aspergers. I had no direction in life, didn't fit in with my peers and was lonely and depressed after my diagnosis. At this time she was a popular attractive girl. she was the only friend I had. She always made time for me. So please don't say I only wish to "boink" her. I can't care for her enough. Just because I can't describe everything her it doesn't mean. I care more about her than all her ex bfs combined. I feel pain everytime I find out how her ex boyfriends treated her. I don't understand how she fell for those douchebags. Maybe now she has come to her senses. It is obvious she is sexually attracted to me as well. I have been working out, eating healthy, wearing nice clothes, got a good job. I believe she has found that the right man has always been right in front of her
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (22 April 2020): This must certainly be an uncomfortable situation for you. If you fancy her don't just stand there, go for it. Tell her you fancy her. Woe her. Make her breakfast in bed. Buy her things. Make her feel special. Ask her out for a meal or something . Chat her up. if all that don't get you anywhere, play your last card, date another girl and let her know you are dating another girl and she is not the only fish in the sea. Either you get her where you want or give up and forget her.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious  + ♥, writes (22 April 2020):
 What strange behaviour. Are you and she the only two people living in this house, or are there other housemates? Does she parade herself naked in front of them as well?
I'll tell you what this reminded me of (and please don't take offence): it is like the young teenage girl who practices flirting on her mother/older sister's boyfriend. She feels safe in doing this, assuming the boyfriend in question won't do anything but look on fondly and admire how she is growing up. When she has had enough practicing of her "art", she will find the confidence to exercise it on someone with whom she wants to have a relationship. I feel this is exactly how this (rather immature) girl is using you. She is pretty confident you are too socially awkward to try to take matters further. That is why she wants you to come on this trip with her, so she can have a wing man and be free to hook up with anyone else who takes her fancy.
You sound like you have known her a while so why - in YOUR opinion - has nothing romantic ever happened between you? (Sorry, I don't recall your previous posts, but your user name sort of gives me a clue about the possible content of those posts.)
Referring to someone as a "best friend" or a "brother" is a nice way of saying "I don't see you as potential boyfriend material but I have uses for you in my life". Most females have used this cop-out phrase on blokes they want to keep within arm's reach (reasons may vary) but at arm's length. Also for blokes they feel may be getting "the wrong idea" about them but who they don't want to alienate completely.
Out of curiosity, does she have any other friends (male or female)? If so, does she parade naked in front of them?
Sweetheart, I think you are being played like a harp but you just refuse to give up hope that something can happen between you and this teaser, which is very sad. She keeps you hooked and stops you from moving on by giving you glimpses of what you could possibly have. You need to go out and meet more people and find yourself a girlfriend who is actually into you and not just into teasing you.
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A
female
reader, Justmy5cents +, writes (22 April 2020):
 Given the right environment and circumstance who says platonic relationships can't change into romantic. If she is genuine, her parading around naked is probably not from a sexual POV however, given you are not of the same mindset, she knows she's a tease.
'she was afraid of bumping into her friends or family', at a nudest camp? Sorry I don't understand that one.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (21 April 2020):
I have to agree, she is more of an exhibitionist than a " naturist" because she obviously have no regard for you level of comfort what so ever.
Not everyone is comfortable with a house-mate that feels the need to be stark naked in front of them.
If she calls you best FRIEND or BROTHER she isn't INTO you in a romantic sort of way. She is basically telling you that the REASON she runs around naked in front of you and doesn't bat an eye, is because she feels "safe" around you because you are not someone she is trying to impress or hope to romance.
She likes the worship but that is it.
I can sorta see why ALL of her exes have "criticized" her because what she is doing is not very safe or smart.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2020): This woman is nothing but a exhibitionist. She has male-roommates, and all this nonsense about being a "naturalist" in a house-full of men is crapola; and it seems she has a crack in her skull.
There is nothing to be ashamed of, nor vulgar about the nude body. Naturalism (what a crock!) in your situation is inappropriate; when you are almost always sure to be caught! You don't execute this kind of private and personal-activity in the presence of, or with full-knowledge, the discovery by non-practitioners. Gawkers, pervs, and voyeurs don't see it as pure or natural; they derive sexual-pleasure and fantasy from it. The naturalness is voided and cancelled-out. For the simple reason that it will not be appreciated for the natural sense of freedom she is claiming to be seeking. It appears that she doesn't mind being caught (but not always); but it still remains arguable that she is intentionally putting on a little peek-show. From your perspective, it just seems you keep catching her accidentally on-purpose!!!
You are also making it your business to always be available and in-place, or ready to make a surprise-attack; when the peek-show begins. If anything is intentional, your consistency in catching her naked seems to be almost planned-out and perfectly-executed. You never miss an opportunity!
I've read and responded to your previous posts. Your responses and reactions to this nonsense is still the same. You're lusting after this crazy-female who is so full of bull-manure with her little peep-shows; and all she is is an exhibitionist, with you as her most devoted-fan. None of the times you have caught her are accidental, for the simple fact that you can recall each detail; and report every incident with accuracy and total focus. Who do you think you're fooling, dude?
The question I've asked, and will continue to ask, is what is your true-motive? You are super turned-on by all this parading-around and catching her. All this mess is about, is wanting to boink this female; and she gets her kicks being a tease-fest for a bunch of male-roommates. I can only speculate that she may enjoy the attention. Maybe she has a few screws loose! I'm not condemning her for liking to prance around naked; because it is the most freeing and relaxing of all the things most of us do in-privacy. When you know there is a observer being turned-on; it may be appropriate to cover yourself. I am giving you the severe warning that she is not giving you permission or consent to do anything!!! There is a more ideal situation and environment to be a naturalist/nudist/exhibitionist; but YOU should keep your eyes to yourself.
Obviously, she knows she has fan; and you pretend you want some kind of relationship. I believe this is one of the weirder( not the weirdest) situations posted on DC. If you really liked her, you wouldn't be so focused on her nudity. You'd mention something about her personality, her talents, and give us some kind of description of her best-attributes beyond catching her in her skin-suit. You share nothing about her, other than she runs about naked all the time! You want to boink her so badly, you can't stand yourself!!!
If she had even an inkling of interest in you romantically, seems the two of you would be dating by now; and you wouldn't be writing DC about it. You were friend-zoned from the time your posts began; and obviously that situation has not changed up to now! Dude, she's not that into you! She tolerates your voyeurism, but it seems that's as far as it will ever go.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2020): I had a male friend who shared accommodation with me and he lived upstairs (nothing sexual at all). I remember doing a card reading for him but with no clothes on. We were just friends, we both laughed a lot and he blushed but he kept his eyes firmly on the cards. It was great fun, nothing sexual, it was about experiencing something a little different, and keeping focused. I was also pushing my own boundaries at been totally naked in a non sexual way. We remained friends long after and I often joke asking if he's had his cards read recently, all good fun. She probably likes your no fuss approach, although not aware of what's really going on inside your head. You do sound pretty cool with it though. She might see this relaxed no fuss attitude really interesting or unusual and see you have qualities of a Huckleberry companion to travel through Europe with and a possible naturalist yourself. After all been naked is not really a big deal in the scheme of things, it is just what some people find as a comfortable way to express themselves. We had a small naturist beach, I went when I was a 21 out of curiosity and for a laugh with my friend, but clothed with a bikini. It was not my cup of tea and think I was maybe too young as it was full of old bidders. This was enough to keep me fully clothed. I am all for Nature and everything Natural and love the ideas of walking about naked, but I would not like to fix a shelf up on my driveway with my Foo foo vacant to all the elements and passing postman.
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