| A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: I frequently fantasize about being objectified by men. I don't go out of my way for attention, meaning I never wear makeup, have never been tanning, and I don't wear provacative clothing. But sometimes I still get attention, just not nearly as much as the women who enhance their appearance. When it does happen I absolutely love it. Especially if the guy checks me out in a pervy way, like a full up-down type of look. What I want to know is if this is normal? I know most women like to be complimented once in awhile, but not like that. Unless they're not being honest? I wouldn't admit this to anyone I know. what are your thoughts? Is it normal and/or okay for a woman to want to be objectified? I don't sleep around by the way. in fact I've never had sex before. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (27 September 2014):
 It depends from what you mean by objectified.
I think that to some extent everybody likes attention and everybody likes compliments.
People like to be complimented for their intelligence, abilities, accomplishments... and also for their bodies. Why not, we are made both of mind and body .
Heck, generally people are ticled pink even when you compliment their car, or their dog, and surely they have no merit in that, other than having BOUGHT a nice car or a nice dog !
So, I don't think it's strange or wrong if you like when what you've got is appreciated.
It all depends ,of course.
If when you go to a party, dressed to the nines, you see thar your efforts pay off and attract people stares, and you get a little rush of elation from that,... I think it's perfectly normal . ( Or maybe I am vain. So sue me ).
If you mean that you'll go out of your way to dress as often as possible as a professional streetwalker so to FORCE people to look at you, without which you do not feel good, then you have a problem, I'd say.
Personally, I don't even see what you describe as letting men objectify me- I'd take it more like a tribute , an hommage to my femininity or elegance or attractiveness or whatnot.
After all, people can only appreciate what they see and what they know of you . Probably if you were at a philosophers's convention,say, and in conversation with a guy , you could show him that you know entire pages of Plato or Aristoteles by heart , he would ALSO appreciate THAT . But, as long as he only sees and knows your legs- what's wrong if he appreciates those, and if you enjoy the appreciation.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (26 September 2014):
 If you enjoy having guys look you up-and-down... and (they) make it clear that they see you as nothing more that a hot 'bod..... sans brains, personality or any other less-than-tangible attribute(s)..... AND... if you're content with that...then, have at it, and mention it to no one else!!!!!
Is that how you perceive that a real, warm and dedicated partner would "see".... and "look at" you? If "yes," then that doesn't bode for real in-depth "relations"... and I predict that we'll see you here, on this site, again, in the future, when the realization of that sets in....
Good luck...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014):
Obviously it's normal to enjoy being complimented. And I guess you take those kinds of behaviours as a compliment. On the other hand I feel like I personally wouldn't and I know I don't like it when someone looks at me like that. I personally find it almost passive aggressive for a stranger to stare at me in that way.
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A
female
reader, RubyBirtle  +, writes (26 September 2014):
I think the FANTASY is perfectly normal. If it wasn't, there wouldn't be so much erotic literature around that's both aimed at and written by women, that caters to such fantasies.I don't think it's unusual to be a bit flattered to know that guys are checking you out. Even if you know what's going through their head isn't "She looks like she's got a lovely personality!"I DON'T think it's usual for most women to actually want to act out these fantasies. But obviously there are some that do. And if it's part of a mutually loving relationship, then I think anything goes provided it's legal. It might not be my "cup of tea" but there are plenty of couples in sub/dom relationships so it can hardly be considered "abnormal" - just less usual.But, giving in to fantasies that might actually put you in danger - such as sex with strangers (and a whole host of other worse things) is just plain silly. They should be kept firmly as fantasies.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2014): If it's what you like then there is nothing wrong with it and you shouldn't care what other people think. The thing is, a lot of women do enjoy the attention, but they won't comment on it, but there are some that would rather be 'invisible' when it comes to that sort of thing. It's a personal preference and if you enjoy to be objectified then you go ahead and let people do it.
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