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female
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*sianGirl
writes: i really need help, ive met this guy tru the online chatting and we exchange nude photos because we trusted each other, he ask me to have sex with him but i refuse to do it because i dont really just gave sex to any one! i am not a slut,. and then he blackmailed me by threatening me to post my nude pics on the net or even print it out and gave it to anybody.. i begged him not to but he just laugh and laugh like an evil seems so happy for what he has done.. im so scared that he might do it for real.. i came from a very respected family. i dont know what to do., please help me?! please
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2006): i'm sorry but i have little pity for this situation.
next time, don't give nude pictures of yourself over the world wide web. either you're an exhibitionist, or you're not!
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2006): All these messages and not a single one of practical help...
Here's my plan:
Agree to have sex with him, take him to a motel or something or the backseat of your car (just somewhere where there aren't too many people around) but have a few guys you know well with you. Keep them at a safe distance so he doesn't suspect anything.
About five minutes later, have your friends move in and get this s.o.b
Then just swipe his wallet to get his real world address if you haven't got it already. Scare him a little (or a lot) and remind him you know where he lives. I'm pretty sure he wont be stupid enough to post those pics after that ordeal! Dont worry about the law. Cops have better things to do than help some sick freak out and besides, I doubt they'd actually get called or anything.
This has a hell of a chance of success, trust me on that! And as long as he doesn't have any real life info of you, then you'll beat this easy.
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female
reader, Wendyg  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Excellent posting by Dr Psych as usual. Not alot I can really add, but at least you will now be aware of the dangers. Dont fret too much whats done is done and hes probably just some lonely soul with not alot else to do. If he does circulate them around its not that likely that people you know will see them for sure, as im hoping you havent given him any contact details of where you are. If he only has your email and a screen name to chat to then it will be hard for him to circulate them so that someone you know will see them. He will get bored soon so try not to worry. You could always say to him they were not your pics anyway... how is he to know you were not winding him up hey!? lol anyway, im sure this will pass soon so dont be too scared, hes probably only bluffing, i mean where is he actually going to put this pics ? exactly not likely that someone you know will see them hun.
Take care x
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reader, Rainee  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 It would be nice to know your respective ages... if you are a minor, and he's not, giving you a naked photo of himself (whether or not you gave him one) would be distributing harmful materials to a minor and/or soliciting sex with a minor in many places (in which case you can go to the police with this).
If the pictures don't have your face or some other highly identifiable marker (like a prominant birthmark) then break contact with him and ignore his threats as spreading the pictures around most likely won't hurt you.
If the pictures do clearly show it's you, try following everyone's advice and stop talking to him, change your number/block his number and try to put this behind you with a lesson well learned.
He's committing blackmail, and if you have any chat logs of this and have kept his picture, I would suggest either going to the police (which if, as you say, are from a respected family may not seem like much of a choice) or keeping them as insurance for yourself. Having exchanged photos, you have as much on him as he does on you and you can turn the tables on him (only if you're sure they are really his - could they be fake?).
Whatever you do, you MUST NOT give into him, otherwise he will keep using you and getting his way until he's finished with you - and then he'll have even more ammunition to use against you. Knowing the kind of person he is, even giving him what he wants won't keep him from trying to destroy your reputation. You have to be strong.
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Sorry to hear what has happened, but hopefully this will be a big lesson for the future about exchanging highly personal material with anyone - online or offline. A friend of mine broke up with her boyfriend a few years back and his revenge was to post naked photos of her on campus and write childish messages all over her ID photo on the wall in the Uni. department we were studying at. You have to appreciate that a lot of people are in chatrooms or message software because they have no other way of meeting people and maintaining relationships. It is easy for predators to lurk on the net pretending to be very nice people while pursuing their own agenda. Thank goodness you have discovered that this guy is a freak online - it could have been very nasty if you met him in the real world! If he is trying to blackmail you then you have to feel sorry for him really - he lacks the power of a personality to persuade you to meet him, sleep with him or whatever else he is after...therefore, he tries to exert his power in more pitiful ways. You cannot stop him doing anything with your pictures but if you at least pretend not to be scared by this threat then he will get bored and move onto his next 'subject'. Please be careful in the future in your internet relationships - remember that people may not be who they say they are and more importantly if you send him 'nude photos' then it may give a man an impression that if he meets you offline then he will be getting sex right away. I am not saying you cannot meet nice people on the net, but you also have to careful to send out a clear message to any potential suitors that you are not into pic swapping, cybersex and all that stuff...if they really like you they will keep chatting to you and not lose interest right away. That would be a good sign that they maybe a person you would wish to meet offline.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): Firstly, it just goes to show what a horrible man he is and it's just as well you didn't sleep with him. The thing is with the internet, however nice somebody seems on line, you never really know them. In your case you have trusted a complete stranger with your most intimate pictures. I suppose at the time it seemed like a bit of harmless fun as in most cases it would be. This man however is trying to use the threat of posting your pics on the internet in order to blackmail you into sex..what a scumbag.Whatever you do don't be intimidated by him. If he were to post your pics, there are thousands of them out there and who would know that they were yours? I don't know whether you actually showed your face in these pics as you haven't mentioned this, but they could be anyone's pics not yours right? If anyone ever said anything to you about it you could always deny it was you and say something like, ooh there's awful she looks just like me and laugh.You have to be strong here for yourself and this guy is abusing your vulnerability and trying to make you feel dirty to meet his own ends. Block his email address and if you have online conversations block those too, this is so he can't contact you.Does he have your phone number? If he does block his number or better still change your phone number. The scared reactions you are giving him is probably giving him a sick thrill because he feels he has some sort of control over you. Now it's your turn to be in control just ignore him.Distance yourself from him please and try and forget all about it.
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reader, sexylinz +, writes (26 June 2006):
 hey asiangirl,what an awful situation you have got yourself into. i think he's calling your bluff just to get what he wants. Dont give in. at the end of the day you shouldn't have swapped pictures with him but you have and nothing more can be said about that.blackmailing is against the law and he is also harrassing you. if you feel confident enough you could always go to the police..although you also have his pictures so you could always do the same and say that you will post his pictures on the net if he does it with yours.i dont mean to be blunt but if you give in to him he will probably still post your pictures so DONT give in.good luck hunsorry if i haven't been much help!sexylinz x
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