A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I need help ASAP. My boyfriend and I have been dating eachother for about 4 months. About 2 weeks ago, he met my parents. We are 19 and 22- incase that changes any advice. Well, he liked my parents and thought they were okay, while my parents acted like they liked him. BUT for the past two weeks ALL they have been doing is tearing him apart and saying how they are disappointed in me. It is KILLING me they dont not like (or think he is 'good enough') for me. I love him more than anything and all I know is as our reationship continues I know my feelings for him will just get stronger. But my family's imput is still important and its been driving me crazy. I cried myself to sleep last night because I was so upset, I dont know what to do. I love him so much.....Thanks Reply to this Question
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female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (26 June 2006):
 Hi.
I am sorry that your parents didnt warm up towards your boyfriend as you had hoped.I had a friend that went through the same situation. Her own parents didnt approve because he was from a poor background why she is from an extremely rich and well to do family.But her boyfriend who is presently married to her now kept trying to win them over and he suceeded. He played it cool and made them realise that she was all that mattered and was truly important to him.
Would advise you to give them time, perhaps with time they would find him more acceptable. Also,maybe as the relationship progresses and the two of you get more serious and they know how important he is to you and you to him then they might not want to stand in your way. No parent wants to see any of their children unhappy.
I am not really sure of the main reason why they didnt approve because you didnt mention but this is the best advise i can give for now.
Take care and Good luck
A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 June 2006):
 This is a tricky one and it all depends on how your relationship has been with your parents in the past. If they have always been overly controlling about various aspects of your life then perhaps it is time to stand up for what you want as an adult. After all, it is you having the relationship and they are just bystanders. However, if they are usually laid back then maybe there is something they see in your man through maturer eyes that you are not seeing being 'loved up' and all that. Only you know your parents well enough to make that judgement call really.
I do understand how you feel. My parents refuse to meet my husband, and they are currently not speaking to me for marrying him. The principal issue is the fact that he is younger and not from my country. They have condemned him before they met him and it has caused huge, huge problems in my family. Having seen how they were critical of my ex's (for different reasons) and various other aspects of my life then I took a stand for what I want and married him despite their horror. Sometimes you just have to stand up for what you want in life!
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A
female
reader, eidden06 +, writes (26 June 2006):
It is very clear that you love this guy. Parents want the best for their children and sometimes overstep boundaries. I expect that your parents are being critical of your boyfriend because of certain criteria that didn't fit their expectations. You said they don't think he is good enough for you. Do you feel he is good enough for you? I would say go with your heart and it will be a matter of time that your parents will come around.
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