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Questions from health class

Tagged as: Health, Sex, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (10 June 2011) 8 Answers - (Newest, 11 June 2011)
A female United States age 18-21, anonymous writes:

so in health class we are having the sex education talk and i'm not planning on having sex anytime soon hhahaa no worries specially cause i'm 15 but anyways my teacher said that sex should not hurt unless the guy is going too hard.. and i mean i guess this is true but also i was thinking she said that there isn't a lot of pleasure in the vagina so how is sex pleasuring?...i know the clit is the most stimulating but sex doesn't involve that. also she said that the hymen usually breaks before most girls have sex because today most girl/kids are super active all the time with sports etc.. what do you thinkkkkk? experiences? help pleaseee!


View related questions: hymen, my teacher, vagina

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011):

So the question is can sex hurt if the guy goes slow after the hymen is broken. Well if anatomically the guy is bigger then you're used to than some women find that uncomfortable. And when women on birth control they can be a bit drier than normal than that can be uncomfortable. And some women find hitting the cervix uncomfortable and some find it pleasurable.

And some women only like oral stimulation. and some women don't likes oral stimulation and those women tend to be the women that have orgasms through vaginal

penetration i.e. sex.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (11 June 2011):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

wow thanks for all the great advice! I'm so glad they have this website because it allows me to get answers that i wouldn't be so comfortable asking in class. thankss!!!!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

Well you're right to an extent. The majority of women don't get much pleasure from intercourse alone (I'm sure some do but most don't). Sex is pleasurable thanks to the other things you can do during and before sex e.g kissing/touching breasts or clit, oral etc. There's still debate as the whether the g-spot exists at all, some women seem to have it and others don't.

Also yes the hymen can be broken or damaged before sex, some women don't even need to have been all that active or using tampons to have broken it. Other women have thicker hymens which hurt alot when they break during sex. Unless you really go searching for it, there's not really any way to tell if yours is still partially intact/intact/gone. First time sex is still likely to hurt though as you'll be tight and maybe a bit nervous which will make you dryer. Or you might be lucky and it won't hurt at all. Until you do it there's no way to tell what it'll be like for you.

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A female reader, angziety United States +, writes (10 June 2011):

angziety agony auntPain during sex, or dyspareunia, can be caused by lots of different things. There is a condition called vaginismus where the vaginal muscles are just so contracted that it is painful to try to gain access, even with something as small as a pinky. "Going too hard" is not the only reason it would hurt. It could be an infection, tear, lack of lubrication.. I could go on and on.

As far as there being "no pleasure in the vagina" this is untrue for many women. There are lots of nerve endings there, especially right at the opening.. and also that reknowned G-spot. Sigh.. sometimes I wonder where these sex ed teachers are getting their information and/or if they are just trying to keep young people from having sex. It is completely backwards for our society to continue to keep information about sex "secret." Lots and lots of people, male and female, have so much wrong information or just LACK OF information that people are being denied normal and healthy sex lives. I remember reading on about TONS of people who have no clue or have these strange ideas about sex and genitals. For example, a guy thought there was a REAL CHERRY inside the vagina that he was supposed to pop, and he even said he thought he FELT THE CHERRY with his fingers. Lots of males believe that a girl ALWAYS bleeds the first time she has sex and this has caused problems because it is just not true. I mean, girls have been KILLED because they were believed to not have been a virgin. And lots of males are being taught that if they have sex with virgins that their AIDS will be cured.

The one that gets me the most is one I learned recently about some religions forbidding intercourse during certain periods in a woman's cycle. I don't remember the details exactly, but it was something like a few days or a week just after or before menstruation. So when these women tried to get pregnant, they would be distressed because it was at this particular time in their cycle that they ovulated. And so, in essence, they were infertile because they could not get around this religious idea. Not all women ovulate 14 days after starting her period!

Anyway, there are lots of websites that educate about sex, and I'm sure a lot of your questions will have already been asked by someone. Scarleteen is a good one. :)

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A female reader, Aunty Susie Australia + , writes (10 June 2011):

Aunty Susie agony auntIts great that you are asking questions. Just because a person is a teacher, doesn't always make them an expert on a given subject. I guess this teacher is generalising, and trying to cover all areas for you. Sex can be painful the very first time, when the hymen is broken, and most girls do experience that, well the ones I have spoken to in my life time. Sex can be pleasurable, and orgasm can be reached through penetration alone; some women are just more lucky than others in being able to enjoy this. I think it is dependant on how aroused she is.

And do wait until you are older, your body and mind are too young, and need to develop further. And it is worth the wait, especially if you wait for the right person.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

Yes good on you for waiting dear. Bear in mind that a sex education class is a bit dry and only focuses on physical or anatomy related stuff. Sex is actually most appealing and exciting and pleasurable with the right person and when two people love each other.

Hope that helps! There is a lot of info out there about all sorts of things about sex but above all many miss this important point!

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (10 June 2011):

Odds agony auntGood on you for waiting for sex. It's rewarding to wait for the right person and circumstances, I hope it all works out for you when you start.

There are a lot of positions that can increase a girl's pleasure during sex - and that's leaving aside the emotional fulfillment they get from the closeness. You don't need an orgasm to enjoy things, everything leading up to that is pretty good. I've heard women describe the pleasure of just feeling "filled," too, so there's that. Then there's the G-spot, though supposedly some women don't have or can't find it, and either way it's in an inconvenient (but not impossible) spot for stimulating during intercourse.

Supposedly, "most" women (the percentages reported vary) can't experience orgasm through penetration alone - although most guys would probably claim never to have met one who can't. But then, the vast majority of female animals in nature can't even have orgasms. Humans are nearly unique in that respect, so I guess just count your blessings.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011):

From my experience, I don't think my hymen was intact the first time I had sex, mainly because I was very active when I was younger and I was already using tampons (which many have said can break your hymen).

How sex is pleasurable is that the vagina is the most concentrated place of nerve endings, not just in the clitoris, though some women cannot have an orgasm by any stimulation other than the clitoris- it's a person to person thing.

Saying that if a guy goes too hard can make sex not pleasurable is a big vague, it can hurt for a lot of reasons. He can be too big (the vagina isn't an endless cavern- everyone has limits!). Yes, going to fast or not entering correctly can and sometimes will cause some pain in that region. Most women though say on a scale of 1-10 (and I agree with this) that the level of pain experienced from their hymen breaking and having sex for the first time was a 1 or a 2. In certain cases there can be spotting during or after (hence the term that I personally can't stand 'popping the cherry) and tension if the girl is not completely relaxed and trusting in her partner (which she shouldn't be having sex with him anyway if that is the case!)

Mostly, I think, pleasure during sex is an intimate and mental experience. Chemicals (yay dopamine!) are rushing through your body like a tsunami and the closeness you feel with the person you're having sex with is incomparable to anything else in my opinion. Plus some pleasure can come from if he is hitting your g-spot just so ( the g-spot is a concentrated point of nerves inside your vagina behins the pelvis, google more information if need be).

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