A
female
age
30-35,
*ueenmc
writes:I been with my boyfriend with a year and a month we done been through so much.i had sex with somebody while we were broken up then we got back together i thought everything was going to go back as it was but we kept getting into arguements..then one day i found out he was talking to another girl that he worked with then on top of that he hide another facebook from me for 5 months and still talk to the girls i told him to stop talking to..now Im at a stage where i dont trust him and i want to talk to somebody else just as a friend but i feel wrong...am i wrong for telling him i want to talk to other people?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (10 June 2011):
 You may think it's not fair because he's talking to other people, but you're the one who dealt the rule, so choose a side and stick with it.
A
female
reader, Sincerely Yours +, writes (10 June 2011):
It's never wrong to talk to someone just as a FRIEND if you are in a relationship with someone else.
But it doesn't sound as if you had a healthy relationship and I judge this by your sentence "he's talking to to girls I told him to stop talking to."
Firstly, you cannot tell him to stop talking to them. If you feel as if you have to control him to that extent.. then you didn't trust him in the beginning otherwise, you would be comfortable with him talking to anyone.
Secondly, You cannot tell an independent individual to stop doing anything. You have no control over him, so he will do what he wants, whether or not you tell him to or not to. The only difference is that now, he will only do it behind his back. I'm not sure what you expected from him when he was told he was not "allowed" to talk to certain people. No man wants to be wipped so hard he has restrictions on simple things like that.
But to answer your question, seeing as you are selective about who you think he can and cannot talk to, it's not fair for you to expect him to be less selective. You should be able to have any friend you want, as long as it stays innocent, but you do have to be fair.
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