A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Me and My boyfriend have been together for just over 8 months..he's the one for me,ive never been so happy, i couldnt ask for anything else of a partner.Weve been trying for a baby, and every month, i have my period, and its a smack in the face.ive been doctors, had a scan and blood tests,and been told im ok.Having a child is the most important thing to me, so this made me so unhappy with myself...but finally last wednesday, i found out that im pregnant and were both over the moon!! We both have jobs, he drives, im taking my tests,we havnt got our own place, but have plenty of family we can stay with until we save up for a home...not the perfect timing..but this is our miracle!I told my mum last night and she went up the wall! she is telling me im silly and stupid and i havnt got brains, shes so dissapointed in me, she wants me to have an abortion...she has a fair point, we havnt set our foundations,it wont be easy i know, but were prepared to do this. im absolutly devastated with my mums reaction.somehow wele get through! wont we? I havnt stopped crying all night, i just dont know what to do! my boyfriend doesnt want a termination, my mums likes to wrap me up in cotton wool and she tells me all the negatives, and he tells me all the positives..i feel so lost and upset!
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female
reader, kody08  +, writes (7 November 2008):
Well a baby is a miracle no matter how you look at it, i am 18 years old and i am expecting my first child hear in the next couple of weeks. When i first told my mother she was also somewhat upset but once she realized that it was really happening she has been nothing but help. I dont know what ur beliefs are but i would never terminate a child no matter what, so please do what is going to make you and your bf happy cause in the long run you being happy is all you need.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): PS: Don't let anyone force you into an abortion. OK you've been silly, but if you want this baby, then have it, and tell everyone else that you'll just have to cope. If you have an abortion that you don't want, it will destroy you inside and you may feel bitter towards your mother for the rest of your life. Your pregnant, you and your boyfriend want the baby, go and ahead and have it, your mum will understand and love the baby too as soon as it comes..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): Hi babes,
But I feel for you mum in this situation. You and your boyfriend decided to have a baby, but you have nowhere to live. You calmly assume that other people will put you and your baby up. This is irresponsible, why the hell should anyone have to take care of you at your age. You have a job, your boyfriend has a job, well that is great, who is gonna look after your baby when you are both at work. I think you have been very irresponsible, you want a baby, but you have made no plans for it's future or your own, you just expect everybody else to cope. Having a baby with no home, little savings with you and your boyfriend living in different houses puts stress upon everyone else. If you and him were living together in your own home, I bet your mothers reaction would be different. Bringing up babies is best when there are two people helping out. If he lives somewhere else, whose gonna be helping out, your mother, that's who, and therefore she is angry with you. Your gonna bring your baby, all it's equipment and toys into somebody else's house, and you think that everything will be alright. The fact that you planned this without actually talking to your mum, makes me believe that you are very, very immature.
Ah well, your pregnant now, what is done is done. You've got your way, your gonna have your baby, but let me tell you, you are in for a very big surprise when the baby comes. Get forward to motherhood, and forget about being an independent woman, because those days are long gone. Your mother will get used to the baby and be happy in time. But you will burden her with your problems, if you had waited, she would have had a little more space for herself. She's just gotten rid of her responsibility too you and now there's another little baby to care for. Poor mother, she'll be knees deep in nappies, vomit, toys and baby poo, and you couldn't even give her a couple of years of freedom for herself...
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A
female
reader, Miss Potter +, writes (5 November 2008):
 Do you still live in your parents house? If yes, what made you think that your parents would be happy helping raising another child? They only just finished raising you, do you think its fair that they will also have sleepless nights and baby things scattered all around their house?
Having a baby is 100% you and your boyfriends decision, but why get your or his family involved as well? Having a child is big decision you should be financially secure to raise a child, and you do not have your own place to live... I am not talking about underage girls that are not clever enough to have protected sex, so they get pregnant and put their parents through hell, but you deliberately have been trying for a baby without even asking your mother how she would feel about having a baby around. I think that is a bit selfish.
I am not trying to sound mean here, I just wanted to say that I think I know how your mother feels about it, shes been there, done all that raising a child up and she knows its a lot of responsibility and is probably scared that some of that responsibility will lay on her shoulders too! Ah, and there is one more factor - she probably thinks she is too young to become a grandmother hehehe!
All the best.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2008): How the hell do you expect to be able to afford a baby if you can't even get a home for yourself?! I happen to agree with your mother. This is among the most stupid things I have ever heard of.
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A
female
reader, michele21 +, writes (5 November 2008):
 well i believe if its something that you both want and you are prepared to do what you need to do than have the baby..a baby is gods gift to this earth its a beautiful thing for sure your mom will grow to love her grand child even though shes not happy now she will be ok just have to let her get use to the fact becuase let me guess you are probably her baby gurl so she might feel as if your a baby having a baby......but if you and your boyfriend are happy and its what you want than do it abortion is not the way to go if anything i would do adoption thats just my opinion but don't cry you just got told the best news in the world good luck!!!
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