A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Am twenty three years old and my and my boyfreind have been together just under ten months and making plans to move in together :) x and in septemeber we wa want to start a family x I'm currently on the pill but want adice on how i.e. your cycle changes when you stop taking the pill and how long it takes for it to come out your system? say if I'm to stop taking it in august as were planning to go away in the semptember on holiday and maybe concieve on holiday? any adice would be helpful
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (25 February 2012):
 Personally I would wait until after you two move in together, you see what he's really like...Trust me, from having been in several LDRs it's an ENTIRELY different story when you two live together. You will get to know him for who he truly is.
I'm sorry but 10 months in, you don't really know him. It takes years to truly get to know a person.
Actually a mature person would wait until they moved in with their boyfriend, got to know him much longer than 10 months, tack on another year, marriage, at least an engagement for assurance, and then start trying to have a baby.
To answer your question it can take anywhere from the next month off the pill-up to a year for your body to regulate itself. Every woman is different.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 February 2012):
 I will answer the question before I give you my “mom” lecture
You should be OFF the pill for three months before you even begin to attempt to conceive. That means using another method of BC for three months prior to even attempting to conceive.
Now… you are 23 you’ve been dating for TEN months you are LONG DISTANCE… you plan to move in together and yet you are already planning to start a family? You are putting the CART way before the horse… so far before this horse it will never catch up.
I just finished an LDR we were LDR for a year. But the last 6 months we spent more time together than apart… Even with spending every weekend together and June 23-August 13 together 24/7 we had no idea what full time day to day living together would be like. It’s very different IRL than LDR…
You plan to be away together in September on Holiday… when will you move in together? Where will you live?
How far apart are you now? How often do you see each other?
Also I hate to ask but at 23 how will you support this baby? There is a huge billboard up in my area that I love it says “A baby costs $785.00 per month, how much is your allowance?” It’s geared towards teens but it’s a good point.
What is the rush to have a baby? I really think you should live together for a year before considering having a child with him… Personally I think that marriage should come before babies…
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMe and my bf have been though as a lot a a couple we see each other as much as we can we see each other a lot considering were long distance and am a good judge off charger I was abused and my bf as been understanding and been their for me we see each other weekend and whenever I off at work I stay at his and we talk every single dau and see each other sometime four five times a weeks x and we spent a full week together more than once I know your concered but my bf is lovely the lovest guy have ever met my mum is procetive off me so she wouldn't allow me to rush into anything if she didn't think it was righ I do understand your concern but I promise you that if I didn't think it was righ I woulndnt have a kid because I wouldbt bring a kid into the world because kids are for life and should be brough into a loving caring realstionship xxx
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (24 February 2012):
 OP
Your followup concerns me even more now!!!!
You are LONG DISTANCE, and have only been together 10 months?
How many times have you actually met this man? How often do you see him? Once a week, once a month?
How do you know, that seeing him every day will not drive you up the wall? How do you know that he doesn't have sides he hides from you?
I seriously think you need to think about this A LOT more, and put off having babies until you have lived together for another 10 months.
Right now, you barely know this man.
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A
female
reader, person12345 +, writes (24 February 2012):
 I agree with Celtic Tiger, are you really sure about this? 10 months is a REALLY short period of time. You're almost certainly still in the honeymoon phase. You can't know how you'll work as a couple long term until you're out of that.
But as for fertility, some women will ovulate the same day they stop the pill, others may take a few months. It's normal for a woman to take a full year of trying to become pregnant.
And again, I agree with Celtic Tiger, that in the meantime you two should concentrate on building your relationship and making sure you're completely ready to commit to an entire lifetime together. Unlike marriage, once you have a child you're tied to each other for life, no matter what happens.
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reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2012): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionMe and my Partner have been dating nearly a year :) but Been together just over ten months we are in a long distance relationship and have spoken off marriage and off kids x we don't want to have kids just for the sake off it x my bf dad didn't wanna know and he was brough up by his mum he not his dad. He been brough up to respect his gf and he wants marrage and a family and he sees that with me I know how hard it it is to bring kids up in this world so know that it will be tough we have really though about it and mature and sensiable and murtirer than my age :) xare familys see how good we are togrther and says were well suited XX thank you for help xxxx
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A
female
reader, celtic_tiger +, writes (24 February 2012):
Ok, you do realise you have only been dating your boyfriend as long as it takes to 'grow' a baby? 10 months really is a VERY short time to be considering starting a family.
However, it is your life, so you must do what you think is right.
With the pill, it varies from woman to woman. Some people can come off the pill and be instantly fertile, others it can take months for their cycles to return to normal.
Even with a normal cycle, you may not concieve instantly. Some women can take a year or more to fall pregnant.
I wouldnt want you to put your hopes on getting pregnant at a set time, as you will only be disappointed.
Why not concentrate on building your relationship and getting to know your partner? Perhaps make plans to get married - that shows he is committed to you. having a baby is a big deal, and if he wont commit to marriage, who is to say he will commit to having a child and sticking around?
Just let it happen naturally. The less you think about it, the more likely it is to happen.
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