A
male
age
36-40,
*evinM
writes:I have been in a relationship for the last 3 months. We love each other so much it sometimes scares me. She makes me happier than I have ever been in my life. About a month and a half ago we were having some drinks, then a fight started, she pushed a glass off the table, it broke. After a bit more fighting she called the police, who arrested her for domestic mischief. She was placed under conditions not to contact me, my son, or my sons mother (my ex). Shortly after I appealed to the prosecutor to have the conditions amdended so we could be together and they were. We have been very happy since. The fighting has slowed down and we have been stronger than ever... until 2 nights ago. Again there was some drinking, my ex was here (her best friend now) as well. One thing led to another and she called the police again, and was arrested for breaching her conditions (no drinking, and not allowed to live with me, only to be with me, in seperate living spaces). Now she is back on the same conditions of not being able to contact me or whatever.After the fact I was so mad i wanted to have nothing to do with her, I said that it was over for good this time and I was really mean about it because I wanted to protect myself from being hurt. I went to bring her some of her belongings until she can find a truck or soemthing to grab the rest and we ended up talking. We both do love each other very much and want to be together but dont know how... The love I have for her scares me.. its beyond emotional, its physical too. by that I mean, when she is in pain, somehow my body is too, when she is sad, I am too, when she is happy I am too, its like everything one person experiences we both do. I love her with all my heart and want to be with her forever. The feeling is mutual.I cant find a single person in my group of friends or family that approve of us being together. Every person says it wont work out and the usual. The police tend to agree. I have been crying all morning because the person I love is not allowed to be with me. To make matters worse, my son who is 3 years old has been asking for her alot, more than he even asks for his mom. He loves her so much, and really wants to see her. He told me this morning that he loves her. I started crying on the spot because all this is just too much for me. I dont know what to do. How should I be handling this situation? Part of me says it hurts but stay away and just be friends, and another, bigger, part of me is dying because she isnt here. I am having chest pains, I cant eat or drink, I dont want to clean or go outside, nothing. The hour I spent with her yesterday made me so happy again, I felt like myself, and was free of worry. I have been thinking of all sorts of bad thoughts of hurting myself because I just cant handle all this, its too much for me.What do I do?
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 September 2009): I have to agree with sphronas, It sounds like your love is intense and irrevocable which is truly beautiful. Intense passion can go both ways. All emotions will be that way passion anger love everything. I would talk with her and tell her how much you love her and want to be with her. Let her know that your son comes first and his health in every aspect is your top priority. Tell her that you would like to have therapy each on an individual basis and together. Then when you have both completed this process you can enjoy all of that raging passion in a healthy and loving atmosphere. It sounds like the foundation is there for a liftime of love but the builders have never built a house like this before. A specialist will teach you how to build your home. Good luck
A
male
reader, KevinM +, writes (24 August 2009):
KevinM is verified as being by the original poster of the questionshe was arrested the first time cuz she broke a glass (domestic mischief) and the second time she was arrested was because was because she breached her conditions of release.
thanks for the replies :)
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (23 August 2009):
 We're missing the most important information: why the Police arrests the person who calls them. Can you tell us more?
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A
male
reader, Sphronas  +, writes (23 August 2009):
 What you do is you tell this woman to find professional help. She needs to learn to stay away from alcohol for good and my guess is that she has a number of other issues to work through with a therapist. If you two really love each other, your love will last through the period that she needs to get her act together. Then, and only then, you can start a new attempt at a life together. For the moment, you should focus on your own situation: If you have thoughts of hurting yourself, that is not a healthy thing, so you may need to seek counselling yourself (nothing to be ashamed of, happens to the best of us). Also, you need to be there for your son, who needs a strong and balanced father.
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