A
male
age
36-40,
*ukin4luv
writes:Hi guys!I have had amazing help here before and looking to get great advice again!I went out on a first "mini" date with a girl last week. It went really well..we have a great connection. We ended seeing each other 2 nights in a row (night after our first date). She actually invited me over to her house to hang out. We talked for 3 hours and laughed. But no touching. Later that night she messaged me and said she did not want me to leave and we talked on the phone that we both are into each other and that we may fall for each other.I am planning for our next date and want to do something special. She has also asked me to stay over at her place after the date.I am really confused what does this all mean? I am a shy (and a lil' scared) to make a move (sexually). Please help me understand how do I flirt with her and take it to the next level. I know there needs to be sexual chemistry and it needs to be build up for one to take the relationship to the next level. I don't have much experience with dating so need your guys suggestions.What are the things women when men flirts? How to approach it? Things I can do to find out if she is really hinting me to take it to the next level? I really really wanna kiss her...but don't really know how to do it...any suggestion....I am very excited and nervous at the same time and I want to make the next date awesome for us.Please share your suggestions and how-tos.thanks a lot!
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (14 June 2016):
 "She has also asked me to stay over at her place after the date."
THAT, Sir, is an enormous hint that she feels so comfortable with you that she believes that you and she might become intimate ($ex!!!!). HOWEVER......
.. considering your trepidation with that (intimacy) why not go to her place... BUT... not spend the night? Saying, instead,
"You know, Hunchy-Bunchy, I'm flattered that you've invited me to your place.... and, I swear, any other, normal, red-blooded American guy would understand that that means that you are ready to put out for me.........
BUT, for me, that's a little to quick for us. Would you agree that we take a couple more dates before we rush in to anything more intimate?"
After that, you can do anything with her... because - if you use the script that I've given you - you will have this woman "in the palm of your hand".....
It never hurts to be a little slow at "rushing in to things".... and this is one of those times....
Good luck....
A
female
reader, llc93  +, writes (14 June 2016):
If you have a good connection which by the sound of it you do try not to worry too much. Only do what you are ready for don't feel like you have to rush into it. However you also don't want her to feel rejected which is obviously important to. I would suggest that whilst you are out on your date maybe try and find subtle ways to touch her as in holding her hand or just touching her arm, something to establish that physical connection.At the end of the date you could always ask her if she still wants you to stay, that way you have confirmation and there is no awkward moment if she has changed her mind. Once you have this confirmation maybe suggest a movie or something at hers. This enables a calmer environment where again you can establish physical connection by moving closer on the sofa, putting your arm around her. From that moment a good idea is to then move your head slightly to be sort of looking down at her she will probably then angle her head just to see what you are doing and this enables the perfect position for a kiss. Hopefully this works for you. However as I said if you are unsure then make your feelings known. How you feel is just as important as how she feels. Also make sure to use protection.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (14 June 2016):
 I'd suggest you plan to NOT have sex on the next date. It's ONLY the 3rd one. BUT make sure you HAVE condoms (and that you bring them).
She obviously feel safe around you, as she is having you over - so I would follow her lead. If she is touchy feely, copy/mirror her moves, but I'd advice you to let it evolve organically. So relax and try and go with the flow.
Also, if she is cooking you dinner, I suggest you either buy or make a desert to share and bring some flowers.
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A
male
reader, Serpico +, writes (14 June 2016):
OMG the mistakes you have made already. If there was a formula for a woman to view you as a beta and have no respect for you, you are following it to a T.Lets see -1. You called and went out with a women the night after your first date. Shows absolutely no abundance mentality, that you are not busy, and have no other options. Sure way to get a woman to lose respect for you in short order.2. "No touching." Men are the gatekeepers of commitment, and women are the gate keepers of sex. So she got you to sit in her house using up three hours of your resources and never had to give anything in return. Another great way to have a woman not respect you.3. "Talked that we may fall for each other." See #2. You are giving this woman commitment for almost nothing in return. From a biological standpoint, you are turning yourself into the male equivalent of a slut, and she will value you accordingly.4. You are in your early 30s and asking a chat site on how to treat a woman on your second date confirms 1-3 above, and shows me if you do not change, you are well on your way to heartache and ruin with this girl.To be implemented immediately -- Do not talk to her for at least three days. Perhaps at best maybe a quick text in response like - "Sorry, been busy. Call you soon." Nothing more.- Next date is over her house. Bring a bottle of wine. Make sexual innuendos prior to going over there, and escalate quickly. If she doesnt respond, its too late and she already doesnt respect you and isnt into you. Women make beta's wait. Alpha's they sleep with immediately.- Totally cut the "falling for each other" nonsense. Commitment from a man to a woman is a huge investment in terms of time and money, and its something that a woman must earn. Just like sex from a woman is something a man must earn, just in a very different way.If you continue on you current path, you will end in heartache. If you do what I say, you have a chance of saving this. Not a guess.How do I know this? Because when I was much younger I was a version of you. Always the "nice guy." Always "falling in love." Never having women want to sleep with me or respect me. Once I changed my mindset, this phenomenon did a full 180.Good luck. Whatever happens from this point further is up to you, but if you take the comfortable easy route, dont say I didnt warn you.
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A
female
reader, singinbluebird +, writes (14 June 2016):
 Just relax and have fun. Sounds like there is already a really good connection, just continue to build on that =). Keep talking, laughing together, and keep it light. Dont rush into sex just yet however but if it leads to sex, dont worry about that either.
If you guys watch a movie, just put your arm around her and cuddle, look down at her and smile. If she is giving you the soft eyes that she wants you, lean down for a soft kiss. Deepen it if you feel her body move towards you. Then let everything naturally happen, trust me it would be natural to suddenly touch, kiss her, and make love to her. Even if the first time is too hot and you sex happens quick, make her feel that you still desire her and wish to take it slower on the next round.
Good luck!
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