A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Met a guy on an internet chat site. We've been in contact for nearly six months,nothing heavy, extremely casual.But due to his work commitments and the distance it has been difficult to meet up. Today he texted me and said he was going to be coming to my town and that we should hook up for the first time.I was really keen, but two hours later when he hadn't contacted me as suggested re time of arrival I contacted him by text. He said he'd missed his connections that he would be arriving 3 hours later than planned at 6pm and more or less invited hiself to dinner and spend the night at my place... The fact that I have teenage children wasn't taken into consideration and I would never take a stranger into my home...So I suggested we take a rain check and hook up another time as my kids had arranged sleepovers for their buddies anyway ( I didn't mention this to him by the way) since then he hasn't been in touch...Do you think he's a chancer? It made me feel uncomfortable, but also sad because he seemed like a nice guy. part of me feels I should telephone to explain, but the other part wants him to pursue me...Any answers?
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female
reader, dearkelja  + ♥, writes (13 April 2008):
 I think you handled this well. You can not (even if the kids were at a sleepover) let this man think he is able to sleep over at your home. You haven't met him in person and it is possible that he is not who he presented himself to be.
I agree with Guillaume that this man should have had a clue about what was acceptable and what was not. The fact that he knew you had teens is disturbing that he didn't have a clue on that one. And Guillaume you sound like a great guy.
You do not have to explain yourself to him. He should be explaining himself to you. Don't contact him. Think about the character of this man who would have put your kids (and you) in harms way. Give him some time to explain himself.
A
male
reader, guillaume  + ♥, writes (12 April 2008):
Hi,
The rule for me is never to impose upon a woman. He did that with the sleep over and obviously you were uncomfortable. Rightly so.
Isn't it a shame that after 6 months of getting to know you, the first potential meeting lead to a massive set back. He handled it all wrong!
I would leave it now and let's see if he contacts you. You may be simply "curious" about him in wanting to pursue him, or you may just want to get something for the 6 months you have invested in him.But I would leave it.
We don't really know if he was a chancer, he may have gone off heavily emabarrassed as his ideas went all wrong.
Or, he may have been chancing his arm. We don't know, and maybe that's the best way. best wishes, G.
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