A
male
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anonymous
writes:So I have a shower, smell delightful, my hair in a nice messy sort of way and jump into bed with my bf on his side of the bed with no pjs on and put my hand down his side. I thought that was nice. It wasn't. He wanted to read. Seems to be the story of our lives these days. For him there is always something else to do and if there isn't he just doesn't feel like being intimate.Am I right to be feeling annoyed or should I be respecting that he doesn't feel like it? Is this my problem or his? I think it is "our" problem but to him I am the one with the problem as I want it more than him. Apparently because I want it more I am not permitted to initiate such things because if I was I would then do so too often.I feel rather jelous of his books! They get a going every night while I only do once a week and that is usually after a dose of the book first. This is a big hole in an otherwise great relationship and I am starting to lose sleep over it. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): You don't say how old you are, so I'm probably wrong here, but you could be in university/work.
It's probable he might be studying for something or trying to gain promotion.
Don't always assume the worst... it's not so much that he might want to, it's more he might feel he has to.
AP
A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (30 July 2008):
You need to talk to him about it, there needs to be some compromise.
Tell him you want to spend more time together away from his books, but not having sex. Get the spark back by talking and cuddling and going for walks.
That might increase his sex drive a bit. If he point blank refuses to change then you have to either buy a vibrator and use it noisily next to him while he's reading and put up with the fact he prefers books to you. Or you have to leave.
If you want to scare him then ask him for an open relationship so he can read and you can go out and have sex. It might actually get him to talk about it then.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): It depends on whether this is a problem about how sex is initiated, or a problem with how much sex you're having as a whole.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2008): well, not everyone wants it the same amount. not likely to change!
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