A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:When I dated my GF, everyone told me she was a freak and I thought that was cool. I never asked her how many men she slept with. After dating and moving in with her I noticed qualities that a "loose" person would have, mainly my male friends, grabbing and getting close to other males. I thought I could be a man and show confidence in her manners. Guys would come by the house when I was home or at work. And my best friend (male) started warning me to watch out for her. But after about a year with this woman in an open conversaiton I realized she was very loose, I was stunned by the candid answers she replied with. (my age at the time was 36 she was 29) And... the question came out of my mouth... "Just how many men have you had sex with?" ...... Her reply~"About 60" I was SHOCKED!. I tried to be a man and have dated her for a total of 5 years, I am her second boyfriend. But we don't have much sex... I have been asking her for more and she replies "shes tired". I love her but cant handle not having sex. I am a loyal very good looking man, I get tons of offers but have not been unfaithful. I am at the breaking point, and probably cannot stay faithful for long. But I cannot rap my mind around her having many sex partners without a relationship and now that she is with a loyal person, she will not have sex with me... What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2012): If you make this about her past then you will not get much feedback from people other than "get over it."
The problem is that your CURRENT sex life with her sucks. Deal with that.
I do not agree with chigirl that a person's past sex life isn't an indicator about their future sex drive. I think it can be a very good indicator. IMO people with lots of sex in the past tend to either go off sex or continue to have a ton of it. Usually not much in between.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2012): I suggest you start communicating more!! so what if she shagged a 100??? you together now; thats what count!! perhaps you should talk openly and ask her whats wrong with the sex she has with you?? be bold and daring...suprize her....she obviously a doll and just enjoy her body!! if you cannot take the heat...move on!!
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A
female
reader, buttterflylovesladybird  +, writes (5 March 2012):
 Dear lovely
You have answered your own question. You need to sit down and talk...and let her know why you want to break up. Then do it. It sounds like you cannot get out of your head, your girlfriend sexual track record. At least she was honest to you. So just move on,
good luck
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (4 March 2012): The short answer is that she is sexually broken. She will have lots of sex with guys when it's not in a regular healthy relationship but she won't have sex with guys when it is healthy.
You cannot fix this. If she isn't ready to start dealing with her issues then you need to move on to someone else.
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A
female
reader, Anonymous 123  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 What's the problem really? If you are at your breaking point and you cannot stay faithful for long, then break up with her. Why are you complicating things so much? You feel that the relationship isn't going the way you want it to, you have a problem with the way she is, then just call it off.
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A
female
reader, chigirl  +, writes (4 March 2012):
 Well obviously her number of sexual partners is not a pointer to how much sex she will have when in a relationship, pr after 5 years in the same relationship. She probably has also been loyal to you, so for 5 years she's managed to be with just ONE guy. There really isn't much you can say about a persons sex life based on their "number" or "statistics" of their past. How many men she slept with before bears little clue on how much sex she'll prefer later in life.
So, there is not much to wrap your head around or understand when it comes to this. Her past is irrelevant. You could have found a prude of a woman who 5 years later turned out to be crazy in bed. It goes both ways, and there's just no saying what will happen. But most relationships DO end up with less sex as the relationship grows older. After 5 years together most couples have less sex than they did when they first became a couple.
Deal with the here and now. If the relationship is not satisfying you, or making you happy and meeting your needs, consider your options.
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