A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I've written about this topic before, and every time I try other's advice, it just goes no where, and I'm not sure what to do. I'm now 8 months pregnant (fit and all belly). Since I started showing, my sex life has dwindled. It's pretty much become a couple of early morning quickies a week, at best, and definitely on his terms. I've expressed wanting sex more often, or variety or something beyond this routine but nothing comes of it. I try to sext him, but get turned down. When I try to talk about it, he explains that sex a couple times a week is normal for couples. (But I almost never got off, and he doesn't really try to please me, or even incorporate foreplay anymore.) He says he's not worried about hurting the baby, and that he still finds me sexy, but doesn't explain why he's less inclined to be intimate with me.Beyond the sex, our relationship has suffered too. The only thing we do together is get the house ready for the baby. We used to be very active together, but now since I'm so big and slow, we don't do those activities together anymore, but he does them with friends, leaving me behind. Anytime we set up a date, I'm paying for it. (Keep in mind, I work for myself and trying to save for my own maternity leave, since he needs me to pay half the bills while I don't work.)Anytime, I express wanting more time together, he brings up that he does his share around the house and fixing up the nursery, and that we'll have more time together when we have the baby. I again, bring up the difference between couple time and family time, but he just brushes it off.A part of me keeps thinking, suck it up...it's only temporary...but I've been so unhappy in our relationship since the pregnancy. It's been so long since I really felt close to him. I just feel like he doesn't care how I've been feeling. He just sees it as me complaining and keeps mentioning how he looks forward to me not being pregnant anymore, so I can go off and be active again. He thinks that's the source of my problems, when it's really a problem in our relationship. Does anyone have any advice that could improve this situation. I'm so unhappy in my marriage, but I really want things to work. Expressing myself to him is going no where. He just sees me as being hormonal.
View related questions:
foreplay, sex life Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (16 May 2013):
 Consider going to marriage counseling, and if he refuses to go, then get some therapy for yourself. This child needs to be brought into a stable marriage and your husband doesn't seem to get that. Let him know once again that it's not just the hormones and that you really need him right now. If he doesn't listen this time, get some therapy and. Do you have any friends that could talk with you or do things with you? If so, hang out with them and get your mind off this. If you do the counseling and talk to him and he still doesn't come around, you may have to separate in order to open his eyes. You deserve better and you can't be miserable so take the steps to make him realize that.
A
female
reader, Keeley345  +, writes (16 May 2013):
Pregnancy is meant to be a joyful time for both parents. As women pregnancy can either be pleasant or miserable, depending on the woman. A new addition to a family e.g a baby does mean an extra financial worry. Raising a child is not cheap so for all you know, your husband may be having these concerns. I've heard of some men becoming depressed and distant during pregnancy. Believe it or not men suffer from post natal depression too. Sounds like your husband is pulling away for someone reason. It may be the reality of actually becoming a parent. That is scary for anyone. I'm not making excuses for him but it's possible he's not coping with the pregnancy and impending birth. I'd suggest you wait until after the birth and see how he behaves. If his attitude remains the same or gets worse, you'll then be able to deal with things and he'll not have the pregnancy as an excuse. What you're looking for is affection and attention. Pregnant or not, you deserve that. For now focus on the impending birth and try to relax. You don't want baby arriving when you're all over the place. Enjoy this time and deal with the other issues later. The person you should both be thinking about and who'll come first very soon, is your child.
...............................
|
