A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 9 months. We have known each other for years and its getting pretty serious. We just found out yesterday that we are 6th cousins 3 times removed, from our understanding. Anyway, our grandfathers are 2nd cousins. This news has been devistating to me because I could really see myself starting a life with him. Not to mention we found this information out a day after I moved my stuff into his house. So my question is: should we break up? I know our children would be healthy because its such a distant relation but the fact that our family tree will be a circle may be too much to get over. Need advise!!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): Well, yesterday I was a complete wreck convinced we were breaking up. I asked my boyfriend if he could live with being with his cousin, he said he didnt know because we just found out, right now it was weird. But today im feeling better. We're still together and i think we're going to try to work past it. Although i truly appreciate all your advise, the fact still remains that it is 2012 and i live in New England, generally we stay away from being with our relatives. But we will see. We were fine before this came out and we are distantly related soo things might work out.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (30 August 2012): It's cool. A perfect match biologically. (Well maybe a tad closer would be better, but probably not. You are possibly also, say, tenth cousins by some other connection.) If anyone dares whisper, here's a reference. You can get it for a few bucks from sciencemag.com. Don't bother is nobody has a problem (which judgin from the other answers they won't, but since you raise the question, you can check out :An Association between Kinship and Fertility of Human Couples Agnar Helgason et al. SCIENCE vol. 329 no. 5864 February 8, 2008 page 813 – 816As far as I am concerned, this means you and your family are a class act. It takes a lot of people caring about people they love to keep those relationships for, what? seven generations. That's two centuries and more. It warms the old heart to hear about people caring about each other so consistently for such a time.
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A
female
reader, Daisy_Daisy  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 I am dead set against first cousins marrying (for medical reasons) but I really don't think you should worry about this at all. It's not 'icky' or medically wrong.
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A
female
reader, Candid Cally +, writes (29 August 2012):
Many of us are related...but you and your boyfriend are so many generations removed from one another there are no legal issues that can arise and you are genetically so far removed from one another, any children you could potentially have should be fine from a genetic standpoint.
If you do marry, you will be in good company. One of our past presidents, Franklin Delano Roosevelt and his wife Eleanor roosevelt were fifth cousins once removed.
In the past, marrying one's first cousin was common amongst high class folks (royalty) in Europe because it ensured land and power stayed in the family.
Your family tree won't be a circle if you continue your relationship. You have branched out so far from one another, that perhaps a wreath is a better analogy. The two branches that represent you and your boyfriend are on opposite sides of one huge magnificent tree. Had your lives not become intertwined, you would never have even known you were both from incredibly far removed parts of the same tree.
You found one another and are happy together. Celebrate what you have.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (29 August 2012):
 cut it out... not a circle... more like distant branches on a very forked tree...
stop worrying about it... Diana was Charles' cousin too...
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A
female
reader, supersofi  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 I don't believe you should split up.
Your relationship was developing happily and smoothly until you got this news, so why ruin it?
Would you even be thinking along these lines if you hadn't have found out?
There are many families throughout the world who wouldn't know if someone was their sixth cousin, so please do not let this spoil a happy life and future togther.
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A
female
reader, ineedyou  +, writes (29 August 2012):
 Stop worrying, please!! You're not even related... it's so remote that you're not even considered related! In my country (Italy) it's perfectly legal and normal and acceptable to marry your second cousin (say, your moms are cousins and you share a great-grandmother)... and that's a relationship which is much closer than the one you guys have! Don't break up over nothing, please! Enjoy your life with him and don't give this another thought! :-)
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