A
female
age
41-50,
*anther01
writes:Hi,Thank you for reading this.I've been dating a lovely uy for 6 months. Things were fine up until I told my family about him. They were not happy. He's been going through a hard time because of his own family, his parents are getting a divorce which will be nasty, a lot of money is involved, he's got younger sister that need looking after. I'm also restricted to when I can see him due to my family/culture. He's a police officer so he's got a demanding job and does shifts. We're of differents races, he's 25, I'm 28. He's now turned around and said that he can't give me the time I deserve, he still wants to see me but at this moment in his life he's tied. He said he wants to make the effort, but finds it's difficult. He loves spending time with me, I do too. But I don't know if I'm wasting my time. We've both discussed that he and I both have the qualities each of us look for in a marriage partner... I'm confused, shall I wait?. :-)
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female
reader, Panther01 +, writes (8 July 2007):
Panther01 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your advice. It does make sense. I have had this conversation with him, he said if I meet someone else then he'll understand, although he doesn't want me to. He doesn't want to date others, as he just hasn't got time. He also said that he's confused and doesn't know what he wants.
I get more confused when he starts talking about marriage... I just don't get it.
A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (8 July 2007):
 I would keep it light right now. Be there to talk with him, but don't be clingy. When he decides he wants more, be there. But don't push. Let him get through his issues first.
If you're comfortable with the idea, and you think he might be too, talk to him about dating other people while you're being casual. (Don't do it to make him jealous or anything crazy like that. If you're not interested in dating anyone else casually, then don't.) As long as you're up-front and honest about it, there's nothing wrong with dating others. This way you don't have to put your life on hold while he's dealing with stuff.
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