A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My ex, who then became my best friend has been acting very strangely lately. He started to withdraw, and when I pestered him about keeping in touch he got very angry with me. He took me off his MSN when we broke up and has refused to put me back on. He said he didn't have it, and when I confronted him about it recently he said he was a private person. I don't really care about MSN, it's more what the whole thing represent. We recently had a huge blow out because I accidentally walked in on him with another woman (he had given me the keys to his place b/c things were not going well for me at home and there was some miss-communication). Things were very weird after that, and he started to pull away even more. Recently he got a nasty note from a neighbour because of noise from his apartment. He wouldn't tell me what all of it said, but it upset him a lot. The thing is that the reason we broke up is because after a year of dating I found out he had a gf. I looked at our relationship and decided to weigh the pros and cons and decided since we were friends first I would like to maintain the friendship. He has continued to be with his girlfriend and until recently things were going well. Then I started to suspect that he was seeing someone else, and while I don't agree with it kept it to myself. He would make up lies and I don't like being lied to and I know he did it b/c he didn't want me to find out, so I just told him just don't lie. If you can't do something with me for whatever reason then just say so, I don't need details. We started talking again after me walking in on him and I thought things were getting on track then he got the first letter from his neighbour. Then Thursday he got another one and called me and asked me if I had sent it. I said absolutely not and he said that there were a lot of personal details in it, but wouldn't even tell me what was in the note, and I have no way of defending myself. Then he said he saw me outside his apartment twice (I haven't been since I walked in on him), and he said that he kept finding the lock on his door unlocked (I gave him back the keys the same night that I walked in on him). One of the nights he accused me of being at his building I was in the hospital and he said he thought I had made it up. I offered to show him my admission papers but he said no. Then he said he was done and hung up. I haven't heard from him since. While I don't agree with his cheating, I know it has nothing to do with me and has nothing to do with our friendship. I want to fix this, but at this point don't know how to go about it. Your insights would be appreciated
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best friend, broke up, msn, neighbour Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Auntie E  +, writes (6 March 2010):
 Why on Earth do you want to "fix" things with this character? You dated him for a year and presumably had sex with him - and he had another girl all along? What a rat! Why do you think so little of yourself? This guy is not your friend, he is a user. Move on.
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