A
female
age
41-50,
*emy
writes:I married my bf of 2 yrs a mth ago, so far our marriage is horrible! we argue 24/7 we have already discussed divorce, i am so lonely in this marriage it is horrible. everyone is telling me it is normal to argue this much.. is it? If so why get married????!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): Give it a little longer but not too long. I argued before marriage and I felt lonely too just after I got married - I'd hoped that being married would change things. Over the last 10 years it got worse and worse and worse. Now I wish I'd seen sense and known when enough was enough. My advice is try hard but set a time limit.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): Did you live together before getting married? Moving in together can take a lot of adjustment and finding out how to make things work. My husband and I went through the same thing and argued constantly for the first three months. We then found our feet and have a very happy and strong marriage with very little arguing. We have been married for 10 years now! I remember at the time, I said to myself that I have to break to cycle of arguing. I set small goals for myself. First promise yourself not to argue for 1 day, even if your husband argues with you, try to be nice back to him (if the arguements are about silly things). When you succeed for one day, try two and three until things just get better and easier. You are both raw inside from all the arguing and the smallest things sets off a lot of emotion. If you take the first step to warm to your husband, he will warm to you and the healing process will start. Afterall, you love each other. I am sure it will work out, marriage is about commitment, don't just give up. YOU WILL GET THROUGHT THIS!
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A
female
reader, memy +, writes (18 August 2007):
memy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe dated 2 yrs before marriage and we argued at times, but not like THIS. Its like as soon as it was legal and we had to start compromising it has been one big power struggle!
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A
male
reader, DJ8433 +, writes (18 August 2007):
 It may be normal, but do you want to be happy? DO what you need to be happy, I would rather be by myself and happy than with someone and miserable. Say goodbye!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (18 August 2007):
 The first year of marriage can be a real adjustment period. If you didn't take and marriage course before the wedding, maybe you should consider couples councelling. It sounds like you need help with communication skills if you are arguing constantly. Drag him in there, it's best to get this sorted out NOW before you get stuck in patterns that continue. We had a tough first year too, but we're celebrating our 30th in October, so take heart! You can work together and solve this!
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A
female
reader, flower girl  +, writes (18 August 2007):
 I would not say that it is normal to argue that much at all, after all you should still be in the honeymoon period.
Did you argue this much before you got married? if not what has changed.
Don't give up just yet see if you can get to the route of the problem and if needs be get some counselling.
Take care.xx.
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