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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am worried that my fiance is commitment phobic. He pursued me very aggressively at the beginning (we've only been together 10 months). THen, right after we got engaged, he started acting different. He was more demanding, and I felt like I could never make him happy. The day after our engagement party he went on a trip to Florida (for fun and by himself) for two months! I felt neglected and like I was not a priority, so I broke up with him over the phone. Well, then he bought me a flight to go see him down there one weekend. It was always something he was doing to upset me, so I kept on breaking up with him, but each time I did he made me feel so guilty (one time he threatened suicide), so I just kept hanging on, which I am doing right now. I moved across the country to live with him, and now he is planning another long vacation in Florida in October but won't tell me when he is returning. The last time he went for two months he admitted that that was too long and he wouldn't do it again. But, it doesn't seem like he plans on changing because he won't even tell me if this trip is going to be 2 weeks or 2 months. If it's more than 2 weeks I've decided I can't take this anymore, but since he won't tell me when he plans on returning, it's like he has me wrapped around his finger. I've also asked when we are going to get married and he got mad and said that I shouldn't pressure him and that he wants to be sure because I keep breaking up with him. What he doesn't understand is that I keep breaking up with him because he keeps doing bizarre things such as taking long trips that are not business trips. Do I just wait around and see how long his next vacation will be, or do I demand to know when he is returning. I feel like I just never know with him, and I can't see myself being happy like this if he isn't willing to change. What do I do? Is he commitment-phobic?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): Hunny,
Are you at all happy with this man?
He books a trip the day after you get engaged!!!!!!!
Not a wonderfull romantic trip for both of you to celebrate, By himself for 2 months im not suprised you felt neglected, He sticks a ring on your finger then buggers off and leaves you to think wow I did good there what a wonderfull man (NOT!!!!!)
I can understand why you finished it 100%... Then he threatens suicide hunny leave this man to his own devises you can and will do alot better than this...Get unwrapped from his little finger and go have some fun of your own.. Marrying this man would be a huge mistake that will only be heartache for you. PLEASE TAKE CARE LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (18 August 2007): he could be commiment phobic,i was with this guy for 7 months everything was great in the beginning,we was going to move in together.then he started getting distant then close and i didnt know where i stood,so i kept finishing it with him,in the end i came so paranoid about everything,and i ended again that time he wouldnt come back,and 2 weeks later he went off with someone else,i know how you are feeling the best thing to do is back off and see what happens.
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