A
female
age
41-50,
*arin
writes:I need advice or I might do the wrong thing..I met the perfect guy in Sept 08, he was engaged and has a 7yr old boy from another relationship.He always turned to me for help since the engagement wasnt going well and they used to fight a lot.He left her on 4Dec08 and that same night we went out as friends.We had a GREAT time.Christmas holidays we spent separately and we missed eachother a lot. He made it clear that he is scared of a serious relationship and want to keep it casual, I accepted and it has been casual since.Obviously we do sleep together, I think its just the idea of being tagged "a relationship" that scares him off so i've left it at that.Neither of us are interested in anyone else. About 2mnths ago he changed completely,avoided me,looked for excuses to stay home and not visit me,got snappy and sounded very annoyed or irritated with me all the time,ignored my sms's for days.I cracked and eventually started ignoring him back.He then started freaking out said he thought I found someone else and he apologises for treating me that way he knows how it feels and will never do itagain.Its been going great for 2 months now and I couldnt ask for better.Now all of a sudden the problem is back, he is distant,ignores me when I text him,avoids visiting me and he is acting like a jerk most of the time.I almost left him about this before, now I feel like doing it again...i feel i always have to crawl or beg for his attention again.He never opens up or shares his feelings with me, unless he is pissed! Then he loves me to bits apparently.Something happened about 2 weeks ago which he knows is wrong and Ive lost some trust in him.I told him I wont take it and I was leaving him,he cried and pleaded and freaked out asking for me to please not leave him..I love him terribly so I forgave and forget...but the treatment is still the same...is this just like a guy pms thing or is there something wrong with me?Does other women also have to sit with this crap?Im back to playing the ignoring game with him until he thinks i found someone else and starts treating me better again...and I hate doing it to him!
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female
reader, pinktopaz  +, writes (10 August 2009):
Yes, I've put up with this crap before...and really, it'll never get anywhere. It's very stressful and really just pointless. It's a stupid game because of his lack of maturity. Try out what Iamsoconfused suggested, but expect it to happen again. The guy from my past that did that also had commitment issues because he had been "hurt" in the past, so apparently I got to pay for it by getting screwed over every time when I was ignored or treated like crap. I would suggest not putting up with it, but we always have to find out for ourselves.
A
male
reader, IamSoConfused  +, writes (10 August 2009):
Keep doing it until he wants you back and SWEAR to him this is the very last chance he has.
Don't get messed around by him.
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