A
female
age
51-59,
*skmenot
writes:First off, I'm 45 and my fiancee is 37. A year ago he gave me a ruing and asked me to marry him. We set a date for march 23, 2013. We talked about finding a church home and pastor that we know to marry us. I worked most Sundays and he was off from work, so I told him since he had more time that he could start funding us a church. Every month I would tell him, we have 10 might, 9 months, etc. Now here it is a month before our wedding date and no church and no pastor. He said he told his grandparents and they think it's a good idea that we wait until we have a church and a traditional wedding. We both love the date we picked out. I started looking around for wedding officiants but he hates that idea. Out of frustration, I told him we would wait until next year, but this year he has to find us a church and pastor since it's so important to him. At this point, I'm just wondering if he really wants to marry me...
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 February 2013):
 I would be wondering too... if he has not done anything to further the marriage plans...
Sadly you are clearly engaged about a year or so huh?
and he's done NOTHING to make the wedding happen?
and he won't budge on how you get married...
he's dragging his feet... whether he is aware of it or not.. so he may have no clue why he's doing it.
do you two live together?
how important is marriage to you?
If being engaged and NOT getting married is a deal breaker for you, then you have a hard choice. If you want to be married and you have a date of march 23. 2013.. you have to make it work... since it's a saturday you can't go to the court house and get married...
My husband is 39 I'm 53. I've been married before and I did not care if we got married or not. He had never been married and for some reason until he met me he never wanted to get married. He met me and something stupid happened to him and he wanted to get married...
we opted for a lovely vegas wedding... and even a week before the wedding (and I did make all the plans and find the place and clear it all with him step by step) I was telling him we didn't have to get married... I did not care.
He did. He wanted the security of being married. I respected that and married him.
I would not tell him you can wait till next year unless that's what you want.
IF You want to be married... you are going to have to force his hand. IF you live together I would tell him that you picked 3/23/13 to get married and if you can't do it on that date, he needs to pick another date and time and make it so... or else you will leave. (and then you must leave)
IF you don't care about being married I would give him back the ring and tell him... ya know... I'm just happy to be with you and I don't want to get married.... and don't marry him.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 February 2013): Are either of you devoutly religious?
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