A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Bit embarrased about this, but i just need to tell this little thing somehow. I'm together with a girl wich i love with all my heart. We're together since a year now and things go well. Now, this is a long distance relationship so we only see eachother after many months. So as this moment we are apart from each other for some months. And yesterday i was *******ating and fantasizing about her. But then another fantasy popped into my mind about a girl i know, and normally when this happens i stop immediatly, cause it doesn't feel right to do that on another girl. But yesterday i didn't stop, and i reached the end with the thought of another girl. Wich spiked me a lot. I feel awfull, dirty, and not loyal to my girlfriend because of this. Now i have an honesty and confession obsession wich is ocd related and gives a lot of anxiety.Has anyone had experience with this
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male
reader, Silius Sodimus  +, writes (18 February 2013):
I fantasized about a porn star last night, does not mean I have any wish to ever meet or have sex with her. It was just that, a fantasy. I don't think you cheated. You just did what you needed to, to get off in a long distance relationship. Now if you were thinking about said girl while having sex, or every day even when your with your girlfriend I would say theres an issue. Seriously forget worrying about it. Youv'e done nothing wrong.
A
female
reader, when nothing goes right go left  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 This is pocd and not you and i know its really hard but you can get positive and become relaxed about these thoughts and i know because i have been through it too it came on when i was 16 and i am now 22 and am free of pocd. The main thing to remember is that its all comes down to habit because you have the thought and feelings and then you try to stop it and the cycle continues. It also makes you feel like a bad person which isnt really true because people who suffer from pocd get these thoughts and worries about things that are not you a classic example of a common one that alot of mothers with pocd have thoughts about hurting their children and this is crap basically because they would never act on then thoughts because it is. something they would. never want to do.The key is to let the thoughts be there and any anxiety that comes let it because you can't fight your body because your body knows what it needs to do to deal with the anxiety. So don't fight the thoughts let them come and stay as long as they want and the ironic thing is that when you don't mind the thoughts being there then they become less worrying until they dont worry you at all.And i also reccomend that you find out about the late dr claire weekes who as thought to be one of the best doctors when it came to anxiety and alot of people consider her a legend and she has books and video tapes out there.Hope this helps.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (13 February 2013):
 honey you are not cheating on your gf by having thoughts of others...
fantasy is what fuels masturbation...
I sometimes think of my hubby when I masturbate..sometimes not... sometimes i think of other people or other things...
does not mean i don't love my husband and want to be with him....
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A
female
reader, sunshineyogi  +, writes (13 February 2013):
I don't think this is worth feeling guilty about. People have fantasies, as long as they aren't becoming unhealthy by interfering in your relationship or becoming an obsession rather than a fleeting fantasy. Its sweet that you worry really. I guess a lot of people would feel different ways about this but for me a guy fantasising about someone briefly isn't a terrible thing. Its normal, as long as it doesn't become routine or interfere with anything else.
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A
female
reader, Pr3tty_in_pink86 +, writes (13 February 2013):
Wow, this post makes me sad. I wish my ex-boyfriend thought like you. He was looking at porn and didn't feel guilty. Still trying to figure out why he didn't feel the same way as you and me about fantasizing about other people. All I can say is at least you were using your mind and not looking at pictures.
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