A
male
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi,I am 62 and change. Exactly 1 year ago I met a woman 14 years younger in a retraining program. She chased me, and even when I tried to point out the age difference, she insisted it was not important. We've been seeing each other several times a week since then, dining, movies, shopping, walking, family get-togethers, sleep-overs, etc.Whenever I start talking about living together or marriage, she jokes about it and then several days later, without warning, she says we are too different and she wants to end our relationship. The first time, about three months ago, I was able to talk to her and we agreed to continue. Last week, she did it again, and this time I let her go. I really love her and am missing her terribly. Is it over? Is there anything I can do? Or should do? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (19 January 2012):
 I think she made that comment about being different to mean that she isnt ready to live together just yet. If not that, its something else. I get the feeling she didnt communicate everything to you man. Re establish contact and try to talk to her. Women :)
A
female
reader, Denise32  +, writes (18 January 2012):
 If the two of you really were/are compatible, then although that is quite an age difference - I would guess she's 48 or a bit older - it should work out well.
Do you know what she wants (how to live, etc.) in her upcoming years? Could it be she is reluctant because there is a possibility down the road that if you were to settle down together you might perhaps not be in as good health as you (presumably) are now, and she fears she might have to look after you?
If so, things may be (or have been) humming along nicely on a "temporary" basis, but who knows what the future holds?
I really don't mean to discourage you. I'm attempting to second-guess where your friend might be coming from.
If you KNOW your health is good and likely to remain so for the foreseeable future (check with your doctor to make sure everything's in good shape, if you haven't already and have been eating, sleeping, exercising right, etc.) I would say to you: sit down with her in a quiet, pleasant environment and ask her what her concerns are and let her know where you are coming from. Be prepared to listen, and see what she has to say.
That, it seems to me, is the best way to proceed now to try and discover where the two of you "want to go" - if anywhere.
Good luck.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (18 January 2012):
 The age difference is of no importance. What IS important is that this woman is not serious about you, and so the best you can do is get away from her and find a lady who will be a "true and blue" girlfriend.... There are OOOdles of them (nice women) out there.....
Good luck...
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (18 January 2012):
 She's right the age difference at our age is not different. I'm nearly 52 and my fiance is 38....
It sounds to me however like she is not interested in a long term SERIOUS relationship.
IF you are missing her and want to be with her contact her and ask her exactly what she wants from the relationship.
AND tell her that you are both too damn old to be playing games.
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A
male
reader, C. Grant +, writes (18 January 2012):
 I have to wonder if the two of you ever discussed what you wanted out of the relationship? What you describe here is someone who is shying away from commitment. If that's the case, then it's really your call as to whether you can accept something that's more casual than what you really want. If you can't, leave things as they are. If you genuinely can enjoy the more limited relationship she was prepared to offer, without pressuring her, then let her know. But she may be spooked for good.
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