A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:thro' the wonder/monster that is social network websites, I have just got back in contact with an old ex. He is an old flame only, a steamy college romance that petered out and it was never a serious relationship or anything but the chemistry was there in spades. The problem is, we are back in touch and amazingly after so long it is still there, or so I believe. So... he is an ex from 13 years ago, but I might say that I had no intention of reopening the lines of communication but we found each other and started with hi and happy christmas messages and before you know it we have poked each other for 2 months. Recently then it's went from long messages to finally texts and lately lots of IMing, winks and even saying flirtatious suggestiveness. He told me recently he had a GF who left Ireland to go work abroad for a year last year but I am bit unclear is it completely off or a LDR. At xmas she came home, she asked would he wait longer and he said no he wants someone over here he can settle with etc and have kids with but she wants her career over there for a few more years. As far as i know they are not in contact now, well no mention of it and he last saw her at xmas but it was unpleasant re their house and whether to sell it (he lives there alone now). Recently we have been making regular contact during the day, I get a great feeling when I hear a beep as I'm getting his texts and I wonder, are there ethical problems with flirting with a guy who technically might still be called someone with a GF or is it ok? He is not looking to sleep with me or anything so is it a harmless release for us both? I have no one and we reminisce a lot about what it was like years ago, the physical connection was unbelievable and I think he feels he has enough self control not to let anything further happen as it would be messy.I am not sure how controlled I can be, as I would sleep with him if I could which I am ashamed to say. I would love just some light fun, some kissing and a bit more but know a serious relationship is not on the cards as it's not what either of us would want from each other. He is lonely, so am I. Is it any harm? Should I stop texting and replying now....?
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reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): ok, well i was in this in situation only difference was i was married and he had a gf, we got carried away, thought we still had that flame from long ago but we didnt it was all about sex and lust. This is fine if you are both single but for me it has ruined my life. Be careful it may not turn out as you see it in your head. All the best though xxxx
A
male
reader, esepalo1  +, writes (16 January 2009):
 Its only harmful if you let it of course your gonna think back to when you guys where together DUH im pretty sure you loved each other and where intamite you cant deny the compation and love you guys had and still might have you cant turn it on and off like a switch.This all depends on where you want it to go but becareful it might not what you thought it would and its gonna hurt bad like the time you guys first broke up but maybe worse cause your gonna think back when you guys broke up and regret it even if you sleep with him again.If you sleep with him emotions come back and fuzz things up i mean who ever really forgets there EX really think about it.Any one reading this knows what i mean if was a good realationship or bad you still remember all the good and bad in that relationship.So even it out with you heart and your gut and brain.YOUR PAST IS THAT YOUR FUTURE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT.MUCH LOVE AND RESPECT.
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