A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I recently met up with someone I had been involved with abroad. We hadn't done the long distance thing and just said we'd see what happened when I got back to town (after him). We spent a day together on the weekend, having lunch (he shouted), catching up - it was lovely - he was affectionate. Then he said he was having some friends over to his for dinner and I could come along. I did, and asked a friend of mine which he said was fine. Then as soon as we got to his house he was completely cold with me, hardly speaking to me. He continued to just play guitar and not talk to anyone (not even really his friends who came) for the whole evening. It was so rude. I tried to engage him but failed so talked to his friends. When he dropped me home I asked where things were at and he said he didn't want to jump straight back into things with me how we had left them (we were quite close but it was a three month gap since I'd seen him) but would like to keep seeing me. This was fine with me at the time.But now in hindsight I feel like he treated me and my friend really badly that evening, making us feel unwelcome. I asked my girlfriend what she thought and she said she thinks I am very unlikely to hear from him again and that I did nothing that evening to make him behave how he did. Nutjob? A-hole? Relationship-phobe? He's just not that into me? A relationship he hasn't told me about?Am I likely to hear from him again and if so, should I give the benefit of the doubt or ask what would make him treat me like that? On one hand I feel really sad at potentially losing him, on the other, outraged that he should behave like that.
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female
reader, llifton +, writes (14 November 2013):
 Yeah, you friend zoned him. Inviting a friend with you is usually universal girl code for friend zoning. he probably thought you weren't interested.
Or maybe he's just a really chill guy? Maybe he just wanted time to himself to relax and play the guitar with you around? I play and really love my relaxation time.
Anyway, hope this helps.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 November 2013):
 he invited you to a dinner and you asked if you could bring a friend?
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? HE asked YOU because YOU were special and he was trying to incorporate you into his world... usually when I plan a dinner party it's already balanced and an extra person throws the balance off... too many men or too many women or not enough room at the table..
He was asking you on a DATE and you friend zoned him.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 November 2013): If I invited a guy I was interested in to dinner at my house, and he turned up with another girl... yeah... I wouldn't be too happy... I would wonder if I was the third wheel. Had you checked with him, that it was OK to bring another friend? Maybe he was feeling some jealousy and uncertainty? That is not a nice feeling and I wouldn't allow myself to be in that situation again. Just a thought.
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A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (12 November 2013):
 Best put this down as part of experience and close this chapter of your life, if not you will always second guess what he feels for you and why he behaves or don't behave in a certain way.
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