A
female
age
41-50,
*tupid pregnant wife
writes:Hi there i hope somebody can help. I have been married for 4 years. We have 2 children, 3 and 9 months with our 3rd due in october. It all started the day before our first wedding anniversary we were away when my phone received a picture message when i looked it was from my husband but it was a topless picture of another woman sent to me by mistake. I confronted him straight away he said i friend had sent it to him and he forwarded it to me by mistake. I said ok but kept a closer eye on things. The next year on several different occasions i found very explicit text messages on his phone to many different women again i confronted him he said sorry but it was just messages. Then just after i found out i was pregnant with our third i found out he had been swapping nude pictures with men and women, texting, phoning and arranging meets. I also found out if had placed online advert looking for sex. Once again i confronted him he said he was sorry i told him he was on last chance. Then last week i go away for a week with the children i check his phone when i get back messages and calls all erased except one saved message with very sexual suggestions arranging meet. When i confronted him he said he met this MAN and he came round for tea but that was it when i checked it was the same one if had been swapping naked pictures with. Now what do I do he is still emphatically denying it. He is my husband and we have 2 small children with another due soon. Im so embarassed i cant tell anyone
View related questions:
anniversary, nude pictures, text, wedding Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Stupid pregnant wife +, writes (10 May 2009):
Stupid pregnant wife is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your replies. Have just had long upsetting chat with my husband. He admitted all i already knew. He says he doesnt know why he sent sexual messages and swapped photos but that he never met these people. Most of them were from internet chat rooms. He met the guy through an internet post looking for naturists, an interest he says he has. He says he does not find him sexually attractive, this is the first contact i have found from a guy. Thats apparantly why they swapped photos. He says they met for the first time last week and still insists they just had tea. I found the message in a strange place on his phone guess if just forgot to delete it. He says he is very sorry and is willing to get rid of phones. I dont know what to do, i cant be pregnant and mum to other 2 on my own. I dont like him at the moment but i dont feel as though i really have a choice. I dont know what to do, thanks x
A
male
reader, FEELITDOIT +, writes (9 May 2009):
Hi. Sorry to hear about your situation. You have nothing to be embarrassed about - it's your husband's behaviour that is embarrassing. His behaviour is totally disrespectful to you. If it's ok I'm going to list some observations/questions:
1. I wonder why he didn't erase the sexually explicit message which you found after your week away...
2. He knows you check his phone regularly.... why leave any dubious messages at all??!! Does he want you to find out or is he trying to teach you some kind of sick lesson?
3. Is he thinking, with the prospect of three children under 5, that his 'life' is over and therefore he is trying to get another 'life' based on fantasy.
4. Is he bisexual or homosexual....
4. I had three children under 5 and frankly there was little time (or energy!!) to do anything else. Though we are now divorced, my wife and I worked as a team helping each other out at that time. It seems, from your description, that your husband is attempting to satisfy HIS needs when he should be looking after you and helping out with his two children.
5. The propsect of being single, pregnant and with two young children probably doesn't bare thinking about but, as a loving father and I was a loving husband (my ex wife would vehemently dispute the last point...!!!), I think your husband's behaviour stinks. You may be better off being by yourself and getting support from friends and other people who treat you in a loving respectful way.
6. You said he was on a 'last chance' - but what does that really mean? If nothing has actually changed following yet another incident then your threats are meaningless - and he will just carry on his selfish behaviour.
7. Maybe it's time to tell one or two good friends what has been going on.
I think you have been really courageous posting your question. I didn't think it embarrassing or stupid at all. Good luck x
...............................
|
