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Now that I've been intimate with my ex I'm worried he'll lose interest

Tagged as: The ex-factor, Three is a crowd, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (21 November 2015) 3 Answers - (Newest, 21 November 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I rekindled with my ex boyfriend and we have since become intimate. He was beautiful and very passionate. I was really surprised as I did not think he felt like that about me after all this time.

Its been nearly three weeks since we last met and he knows that I do not like talking on the phone. We have exchanged texts a few times. I have tried to be light and so has he.

I want to move the relationship on more but don't want him to feel that I am chasing him. I am about to come out of a relationship that I am not happy in. I feel he is leaving me to sort out my relationship.

I keep thinking that now he has had his way with me he will not contact me again. I know this is not true but I am finding it hard to think positive. All negative keep bombarding me. He did call me the day after on the telephone and asked how I was feeling which was very gentlemen like of him.

I cant stop thinking about him.

[Moderator Note: Two posts combined into one]

I feel that I have nearly got my ex back. It has been quite a few years and we have met up a few times and have become intimate.

I am playing cool and so is he and we are not contacting each other often. I want him to chase. The reason I feel that this will become positive is the way we talked and laughed and the passion and chemistry we have.

Should I arrange the next meeting as he arranged the last two? Or should I wait for him to make the next move? I do want to hold off on the intimacy until I know we are exclusive. I don't want him to feel that I am sitting here thinking about him.

View related questions: my ex, text

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (21 November 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntYou write: "I keep thinking that now he has had his way with me he will not contact me again. I know this is not true but I am finding it hard to think positive. All negative keep bombarding me..."

You are deluding yourself! Once a guy learns that he can get a girl in to bed.... all formalities and niceties are off the table. HE will do many "nice" things which you will use to justify yourself making yourself available to him for $*x..... Such as: "...asked how I was feeling which was very gentlemen like of him."

Save your soul and get away from - and stay away from -this guy.. who is a classic user....

Good luck...

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (21 November 2015):

Ciar agony auntThis is a moot point until you've officially ended it with the other. Your ex is right to keep his distance while you're involved with someone else, happy or not, but he should have done that, you both should have, before you became intimate.

End the relationship you're in then give yourself some time to regroup. Take it slowly with the other guy and see where it goes.

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A female reader, Mina_Bhamji United Kingdom +, writes (21 November 2015):

Mina_Bhamji agony auntThe best thing to do right now is to get out of the unhappy relationship you're in now, after that is all dead and gone you can rekindle yours and your ex's. Your ex is doing the right thing by letting you get on with it until you're out of the relationship. But once that's over, contact your ex and see where it goes

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