A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I have been with my fiance for 5 years he is 39 and I am 26 I love him so much. I am 13 weeks pregnant and I am kind of scared that I am less attractive he keeps "holding" my large stomach and it makes me feel...yuk. Also his ex wife is not letting us have his son for Christmas, he is a quiet guy but we always talk about everything but he is not really talking to me about this I feel bad I see the sadness in his face everyday, should I push him to talk to me?
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female
reader, bluecow  +, writes (23 December 2011):
 agree with the prev posters... his holding your tummy is a tender loving gesture. What it means is he is viewing your body in a different non sexual way.
As for the ex wife...
This is hard for me as I am fairly uncompromising over xmas morning myself. I look after the children 97% of the time and therefore I prefer to have the children here.... they go to daddys xmas evening for 3-4 days. This works for us and we live in the same town... I realise it might not work for everyone. If he lived further away I know we would have to alternate.
Has he spoken calmly to his wife? has his son expressed an opinion (my kids get given final say)?, what exactly is she refusing to?
Is it simply christmas day? would she be alone otherwise? OR is she refusing visitation for the whole festive period?
My kids have 2 christmas dinners (which my daughter things is AWSOME), and 2 sets of pressies as santa delivers to both addresses (fancy that!). As mine still see their dad xmas day they have a great time and best of both worlds. The downside is that all the new toys they have got with me, have to be left behind for a few days while they stay with daddy.... there never is a perfect soloution.
Hope that helps.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (23 December 2011):
 I agree with the other ladies, holding your stomach is a tender, affectionate,protective gesture- don't fel bad, feel moved.
And, just to be a spoilsport :) at 13 weeks, why do you say you have a large stomach ?? If this is your first pregnancy, generally a belly bump does not show until the 5th month. You won't be by any chance gaining too much weight too soon ? When you are pregnant , you don't have to " eat for two " , that's a myth. You may feel at times like eating a dozen doughnuts,.. but it's a craving that you can safely resist, your baby won't be deprived of anything .
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (23 December 2011):
 he holds your stomach because he loves you and your baby... he's holding the baby... I thought my guy was grabing my hips to show me how fat I was but it was because he LIKES the handles... weird I know...
was the visitation with your future stepson spelled out in the divorce agreement? if so there is probably something in it about holidays. If you live close enough maybe you can have him for Christmas EVE or the afternoon.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (23 December 2011):
 Actually, his "holding" your stomach is most likely a really good thing, as it's not your figure he's reacting to, it's the fact that you're carrying new life! He obviously loves his son, and he's going to love the child you two have together.
As for his ex not letting him have his child, he should find out his rights granted to him from court. If he has weekend visitation, Christmas falls on a weekend, and she has no right to deny him whatsoever.
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