A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i've been with my husband for alittle over 3 years. we have a 19 month old boy and after he was born my sex drive has gone from waking him up to make love to pushing him off me when he wants to. what am i going to do?
View related questions:
in the mood, sex drive Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2011): my wife went through the same thing after our first born. our love life dropped off to almost zero. it was like living hell with her during that time. love making was very little & giving her oral sex did not exist during that time. i did a lot of jacking off because she was not there for me. things changed & got better for us after our second one was born two years latter.
A
female
reader, cupidus  +, writes (21 June 2011):
 You know what they say about the hand that rocks the cradle.
If you wake him for sex it seems like a power move. Maybe rocking that cradle has rocked your world from submission to dominance. Maybe you've gained some power and control that you didn't have before and now you are just experimenting with. Ask yourself who has more power in the castle the King or the Queen. If not a hormonal change it sounds like a housemonal change. You may be in your rights but remember the best Queens are merciful.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): Just tell him how you feel. I'm sure he'll understand.
...............................
A
female
reader, Vee1  +, writes (20 June 2011):
 Has you and your husband spoke about your decreased sex drive at all?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): find out why you're no longer in the mood so you can fix this problem.
Is it a medical problem - hormonal levels etc? get checked by a doctor to see if this is the case or to rule it out.
Is it an emotional problem - stress, tiredness, and so on? if so, find ways to reduce your stress. Hire a babysitter if it will make you less stressed.
Is it some other emotional problem - relationship conflicts, unhappiness about other parts of your life?
the reasons can be inter related. If you're having hormonal imbalances it can affect your mood which then affects the way you relate to your husband and then creates relationship conflicts.
is the problem with your husband not with you? Has he changed? Has he done things that hurt you?
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): If you're a stay at home with the bulk of the child rearing and housecleaning responsibilities then it is totally understandable that you're not interested in sex, especially if you're also nursing. Feeling physically exhausted, lonely and resentful are not conducive to romance and intimacy.
Redistributing domestic duties and making time for yourselves as a couple and as indivisuals would go a long way to imprving things.
...............................
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (20 June 2011):
 Are you a stay at home mom?
are you still nursing the baby?
both of these questions being answered will help me answer you better.
...............................
A
female
reader, hannah76 +, writes (20 June 2011):
 You need to speak to him. Tell him, be honest, tell him that ever since the birth of your son you have lost desire. Be honest, he will suspect things are not right. But communication is the best way. Explain how you feel and whats happening. Then you can both deal with this together.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2011): Sounds like you need a break away, to catch up on uninterrupted sleep and to spend some time with eachother, its completely normal for this to happen, a toddler will drain the energy out of you.
You really need to take some time for eachother im sure he feels the same way, so even if you only get a night away without your son, make the most of it you'll be glad you did.
:)
...............................
|
