A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my boyfriend and i who have been together for over a year and regularly have protected sex. but ever since we have been together, he has never given me an orgasm! i usually have to fake it because it makes him feel bad when he asks and i tell him, "no," but then i end up feeling guilty after wards for lying.there have been many times when we've tried insane positions just to try to get me to orgasm. still, i have to fake it. i don't really know where my g-spot is. i've tried searching for it but it was never found! sex and being fingered feels great but i just wish i could give him - and myself - a genuine orgasm. he has used toys and for her codoms. still nothing. the only way i can experience climax is by rubbing myself. :(is there anything else we can do?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): I read some of the other advice and it's pretty good. I really think I have some good to tell you that can help you. I am very experienced. I am married and in my 40s. I have got it down now but this wasn't always the case. What I learned is that everything begins in your head. If you tell yourself "no matter what we try I can't orgasm" then you won't orgasm because you believe it. Don't tell yourself that you "can't" but you can tell yourself that you "had" trouble before. Remember the future hasn't happened yet. Never fake an orgasm for the sake of your man's ego. He needs to suck it up. Faking orgasm just teaching him that what he is doing is working and since it's really not you are teaching him things to do to you that don't work. There is nothing wrong with masturbation either. Some women like vibrators and some don't. Expierement. Get to know your body that will help a lot. When you have sex don't think a lot. Just do it don't worry about orgasm. Don't force it to happen. Just let it happen. If it doesn't happen don't get upset about it. What's most important is being close and intimate with your partner even when you aren't having sex. Just cuddling on the couch and holding hands can be intimate. One last thing. Stress affects stress. If either one of you is stressed out it could affect both of you. Stress happens in our lives sometimes. It will come and go and good sex comes even when you are with someone you love. It's ok. The good sex will come back. Don't worry what you are going through is normal.
A
female
reader, QuirkLady +, writes (1 August 2010):
 After all of this effort, I wouldn't be surprised if you had a mental block.
Tell him he needs to stop asking you. An orgasm is not the be all end all of sex. It's nice if it happens, but having sex by itself is also nice too! You don't have to have an orgasm for it to be a satisfying experience for both of you.
As long as you are both focused on having that orgasm, it will dance right out of your reach. Relax! Have fun!
Good luck.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): we have been together for two years and she can't climax either and it bothers a guy. makes him feel like he's not getting the job done. except with us she is just afraid to let herself go. but I don't see that problem for you. my girlfriend now pregnant and in all the books it says sex for most women is their first time to climax or the first time for it to be multiple times. just don't give up.
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A
male
reader, rivi +, writes (1 August 2010):
Well first don't fake it or how will he ever know how to bring you to climax ?
2nd - you say you can finger yourself to climax well how exactly ? Whatever you do to yourself surely you could teach him to do with his fingers / lips after he has orgasmed ?
I think it's quite common for the man to climax before the woman and then he loses his erection but he can still carry on ( after a short break to recover ) with fingers and oral stimulus. In my case I often find after five minutes of that I'm getting hard again anyway so it's double helpings !
I'm not saying a man should ALWAYS be able to give the woman an orgasm - but most of the time - you need to tell him v specifically what you need him to do with his fingers / mouth (and penis if it gets hard again ). Good luck and report back on how it goes.
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 I can't experience vaginal orgasms. Try clitorial stimulation during sex most guys love watching you stimulate yourself during sex. Fun for all :-)
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A
female
reader, LyricStorm +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Hey had this same thing for a long time. With women it isnt easy to climax because our clit isnt the same as a man.
Just remember when you are having sex dont think about having a orgam think about all you too have been through and all you have done to get to this point. Think about how much you love and care about this man... Put some REAL FEELING into it. Dont just have sex make true passionte love tell each other over and over and over and over again how much you truly love and care about each other and need each other. Get yourself out of the mind frame that you have to climax everyime you have sex because you dont and you wont but the more your mind stays on the love and truth of your relationship the move satified you will be with the outcome of it all:)
Hope this helps!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhe goes down on me often, and it feels great. he sometimes goes for 15 minutes but still, nothing accomplished.
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A
female
reader, SirenaBlusera  +, writes (1 August 2010):
 Most women can only experience orgasm through clitoral stimulation. Have you tried that? It's a rare woman that can orgasm through plain intercourse.
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