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Nervous about hooking up with older guy!

Tagged as: Age differences, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (20 August 2012) 3 Answers - (Newest, 20 August 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, *arlieKatrina writes:

Hello. I posted a rather long question a few weeks ago about how to handle a newly growing friendship with a former teacher of mine (I'm 18 and he's 31) and since then there have been developments.

He's a very sweet guy, I really trust him and we have a close relationship. If he were younger or I was older, we'd probably be getting serious with each other. I'm not ruling anything out but right now I'm off to college and he's still 13 years older than me.

Basically, we made a plan to get together at my house and I think hooking up at this point is inevitable. It wouldn't be sex, but still. Anyway, I'm just nervous because I feel like I'm so young compared to how him, and he's way more experienced. What if I don't compare to the other girls he's been with? I'm not sexually experienced and haven't been out there - I don't know how to hook up in the adult world yet!! Does that make sense? Does anyone have any advice on things I should do or how to handle my nerves? Anyone ever been in the same situation?

Thanks!

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (20 August 2012):

So_Very_Confused agony aunthooking up is for children IMO...

just go and be social and be friendly and remember that ADULTS talk about their concerns not play games.

FWIW I am 13 years older than My fiance but if he was 18 there is no way I'd have been interested in him.

now at 52 and 39 we are just fine.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (20 August 2012):

No offence to you in any way, but I really have to question what a 31 year old guy is doing around an 18 year old girl.

that is a huge age difference particularly at your age.

it doesn't really matter all that much when you get older, but right it makes a world of difference when you are at that point in your life when you are becoming an adult and learning about life, living on your own, your studies at college, making new friends, having that college experience, parties, football games,etc.

This guy "should have" been there done that and well beyond it at this point in his life.... I highly suspect although you have a good relationship with him this will end badly for you, not him. You are young and impressionable and are only seeing the attraction to this guy...understandable and certainly intriguing, exciting but

If you can't step away because of it, at least go into it knowing this will likely be a short term little romance and be confident and don't do anything you are uncomfortable with or unsure of just because he is supposedly older and wiser

He is older but he is NOT wiser...case in point, he is involving himself with an 18 year old girl. Best of luck and please be safe.

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A male reader, DoubleM United States +, writes (20 August 2012):

DoubleM agony auntThink I already said it, but age doesn't matter if there is a good relationship. Years ago, I dated a woman more than 10 years older. We had a relationship for years. In the long run, it didn't work out, but age had nothing to do with that.

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