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female
age
,
anonymous
writes: Hello ladies in menopause or pre-menopause. Could you please help me, if you have any good ideas for me. Well, I still get my period, but getting close to finishing soon I guess. But I have 2 very disturbing problems, and I wonder, if anybody here has the same and found some solution for it.Problem 1, 4-5 days before my period I cant sleep and I feel extreme anger towards my husband to the level I want a divorce. It is very dangerous, because I would regret it if I were to act on my anger.. But I have no way of controlling it... Is there some remedy or something?Problem 2, I get such a heavy period that I can't leave the house as I have to go to the bathroom every 20 min to change... Dr says I'm ok. It is just hormonal. They checked me out, I have no gynecological illness. Please help, if you can.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, texas_gal  +, writes (26 January 2010):
Okay, so the alien-seeming feelings aren't so alien after all. It sounds like you are articulate and insightful, making you a good candidate for a little psychotherapy to explore these feelings. Have you seen a psychiatrist? Psychiatrists don't get enough credit for the range of patients and problems they deal with. Though you are perimenopausal, you may still have premenstrual dysphoric disorder which would be best diagnosed and treated by a psychiatrist.Do you have other symptoms of masculinization? Deeper voice, facial hair, acne/oily skin, redistribution of body fat, clitoral enlargement? If so, for how long? Keep asking your doctor questions until you have satisfactory answers. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): bharat mehta !
Thanks, but I never said, I turn violent in this times. I just get angry, no violence.. But yes, I did see my doctors, but usually doctors offering you strong medication,what can make things worst. The reason I asked advice, because,sometimes there is help from wise people who had the same problems, but you are right, some woman actually goes really violent. I would never hurt my kids ever. Thanks for answer ,every opinion counts!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2010): Thanks for your answer! texasgal !!
I was worried ,nobody will answer, sure it is a site ,mostly about sex and sexual disappointments,but this are really important things too,for our spirit and mind.! So thank you,I hope you will read it Again!
Yes I have seen doctors about my problems, and they give me some advice, but yours seems to be interesting. I thought about the same thing might happen, because i do feel so strong, like a man..
Yes, my husband makes me really angry, he does not understand me at all, and I just dont have any protection in my brain in this time to behave myself. I sometimes think, I should leave him, but not when I have Pms. Because I would regret it ,to do it with anger. But ,when my period is over, I feel I can tolerate his behavior toward me much better, yet I'M NEVER HAPPY WITH HIM! I need to be at the ''RIGHT MIND'' when I do that...
SO ,I really think , I should probably talk to you more,if you come back here! Thanks
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A
male
reader, bharat mehta  +, writes (23 January 2010):
 You need advice from psychiatrist's for your problem no.1, and for problem no. 2
Not all, but few female have the same psychology, extreme and or violent anger towards husbands and sons etc. etc.
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A
female
reader, texasgal +, writes (23 January 2010):
Some of my friends said they took saw palmetto and/or zinc when they were perimenopausal and they had very few problems. Saw palmetto and zinc both block the enzyme that converts testosterone to 5-hydroxy-testosterone (5HT). Testosterone occurs at low levels in women. 5HT occurs at even lower levels but is more potent than testosterone. Your anger may be due to the normal fall in female hormones (estrogen and progesterone)just bfore your period and a relative high level of male hormones (testosterone and 5HT). Ask your doctor about it.
Alternatively, the lack of sleep may be the cause of your anger. General good sleep hygiene, exercise in the afternnon or early evening, and chamomile tea at bedtime may help.
Have you talked to your husband about your problems? Not during your pre-menstrual/angry days, of course. You are right to refrain from acting out on your anger. But if it is uncontrollable, as you say, what if you slip up and do or say something you regret? It would be like a bolt out of the blue for him. Forewarned is forearmed. Maybe you should give him a little heads up, just in case. Even if you do talk to him about your angry spells, don't take that as a license to go ahead and act out.
On the other hand, is there a kernel of truth in those otherwise alien-seeming feelings?
You say you've been checked out and you don't have a gynecological illness. Could you have a non-gyn illness, like bleeding disorder?
Best of luck to you!
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