A
male
age
41-50,
chrisex
writes:Hi.Hope someone can help.I am married to a controlling, dominating, mentally abusive, bullying wife and have been for 4 years. I have 2 very young children and one due in 4 weeks. I have tried everything to help her stop being Angry, even going to the Doctors behind her back. An example of her behaviour – I was going to my Uncles Funeral a few weeks ago and she started an argument about nothing the previous night. (Our arguments go on for hours, even all day and are 1, 2, 3 times a week) She told me that when I got back from the funeral she will have left and taken the children to the Isle of Wight. (She did not carry out her threat) The same day she through my Fathers cats ashes at me in its urn.My father passed away last year in hospital. I was trying to visit him on the evenings but she made me feel so guilty I could not go when I wanted to. He died a few weeks later!She takes control of the TV and stops me watching anything I want to.If I am calm with her she insults and abuses me. It I fight fire with fire she threatens to kill herself by Overdose, holding a knife to her neck or leaving me and phoning me telling me she is going to crash her car.If I tell her how I feel she calls me selfish.I am now feeling very low and depressed and tearful. I want to leave her but I have my children. Also I have no family and have nowhere to go if I leave. I have no money and am in debt with a credit card because she always wants to go out. When I explain that we have no money she tells me I am a tight selfish bastard. I pay for every bill and Mortgage, but it’s not good enough.She can not cope with the slightest bit of stress and takes it out on me and her close family. I really have tried to help. I arranged Relate last summer, she agreed with some of the things that were said about her behaviour but nothing has changed. After I spoke to her doctor without her knowledge she went to a mother and baby psychology unit and was placed in group therapy. She went once and stopped.She has got pregnancy hormones raging, but please believe me this is far more and she does have a lot to cope with having the children all day (She does not work)She is destroying everything with her Anger and abuse and having a family is all I ever wanted. I am not strong enough anymore to take her on.. What can I do?
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male
reader, chrisex +, writes (26 May 2008):
chrisex is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your answer dizzie. I feel scared to do anything. Think she has broken me. I feel so low.
She kept me awake last night arguing till 3.30 am because I woke her at 11.30 whilst going to the toilet. I was as quiet as I could be.
Everything is my fault. I am so low and feel so crushed!
A
female
reader, dizzie +, writes (17 May 2008):
you have to leave her now this situation is so dangerous please take your kids even if you book into a b b for the night please leave she is so unpredicatable. i no you want the best for your family but that can only be achieved with you and the kids being away from her. she is unlikely to comit suicide she is only holding things over your head things that you cant be accountable for. if she wants to do this she would just do it and not contact you about it. i am sorry that it has come to this with you but please do this for your own protection
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