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writes: I am really confused about my teacher. He treats me differently to anyone else. He treats me like a lady, he holds doors open for me, tells me that I am a VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY able student, he said I am lovely, he thinks all the boys fancy me. He checks me out, he glances at my chest and lips when I speak to him but most of the time he looks directly into my eyes, all of his body language suggests that he has a 'thing' for me but I am not sure. He smiles when I smile, he always tries to be nice to me. Nobody likes him and he is horrible to most people except me and a few others. He is always asking me how I am whether I did anything interesting on the weekend. He is always willing to help me with anything and he gets really close to me. However when I go to see him after school he always says, Here comes trouble, looks like bad news, although he does say that to everyone and he says it in a playful with a smile on his face. He always smiles at me. He is never rude to me. He seems quite shy when he is alone with me, but in class he is always loud and showing off and he always looks at me when he does it. I have noticed that when he is explaining things he always facing me, and although his head moves around his body faces me. He always notices when I am upset or lying my head on the desk and he kindly asks me whether I am ok whereas with other people he just tells them to sit up straight. He stands up for me against teachers and students and always tries to show off or show himself in the best light possible. He touches me sometimes, in the canteen he put his hand on my arm to guide me in the right direction. I have been on every quiz I can find about whether he fancies me and they all say yes but they dont know that he is my 41 year old teacher with a girlfriend and I am his 15 year old student! He seems to like me but I am not sure. I went on work exp recently and everyone there thought I seemed older than I am they say i look about 18 and the way I talk and come across I seem older than I am. I should also say that I do fancy this teacher alot!! Infact I am starting to believe that I may have fallen in love with him. I just wondered whether he maybe fancies me back? Do you think he might fancy me?
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female
reader, Shortages  +, writes (2 May 2011):
The amount of times I have seen young girls posting about their teachers treating them differently and about crushes with teachers.
Look, whether he likes you or not, nothing is allowed to happen without major consequences. You say you have a bit of a crush on him - that's normal and common in young boys and girls. You may fancy him now, but could you imagine having that same feeling in a few years time when you're middle aged and he's approaching OAP?
Many teachers have favourites (as previously mentioned), and of course they'll be nicer to them as they are the students who show them why they are teaching.
I think it's fine for you to have a kind of friendship with your teacher at school, but not out of it. If anything continues or he does make a move, I suggest you stay away from him and inform a trusted adult (clearly not this guy if he's hitting on you). It's just a crush and it won't last for long, but if you act upon it, his life could be ruined and you'd have to deal with that. However, of course it isn't your fault, he shouldn't be making moves, or staring at your chest or lips for that matter! But just don't do anything stupid or make a move. If he has any urges (which he shouldn't be really), they should remain hidden and he shouldn't act upon them - you should do the same.
Sorry if that all sounds a little too confusing. Good luck!
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2006): Ok, u obviously have an intimate relationship with this teacher. But everything you've described definitely suggests that he fancies you. What i just said will probably make you feel esctatic, as you fancy him back. But the worrying thing is that he's a forty one year old man. He should know better than to give you signs, which he is definitely doing!! Whatever way you look at it, this man sounds like trouble, if he's trying to hit on you like this. Those small, insignificant gestures like touching you on the arm mean a lot, and suggest he has sexual feelings for you. Also if he really is looking at your chest and lips he most likely finds you sexy! It's also common knowledge that a guy who often looks at a girls lips means they are fantasising about kissing you. Speaking from a concerned point of view, this is not a good thing, as he definitely should have grown out of fancying school girls.
This won't what you will want to hear, as you fancy him, but whatever you do, do not let yourself get too involved with this man, which everyone will find hard because it's resisting temptation. I know it's always a thrilling sensation when the one person you love, fancies you back, and it opens whole new possibilities!!
This is perfectly ok when it's a guy whos within a five-year age limit eitherway. However, when a forty year old guy is acting like he's your age by hitting on you this is totally different. And a part of me would be worried and concerned, even if i was in love with him.
I'm just going to give you a bit of advice now, and it won't be what you want to hear, but you have to make sure you don't get too involved with this man. He sounds like he's very close to making a move on you, and you can't go down that road. This guy is almost thirty years older than you, and he shouldn't be dating a twenty-year old, let alone flirting with a fifteen year old. For your own protection, try not to get caught alone in a room with him, because he sounds ectremely dodgey. For your own protection. By the way nobody's blaming you, if he is giving you these signs, he is in the wrong. Ur fifteen, you are totally innocent. He should know better. If he makes a move on you he is weak, immature, unprofessional and a total and utter perve. Please protect yourself, and do not retalliate if you do find yourself in this situation. U seen pretty mature and im sure you'll be fine. Good luck xxxx :):)
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female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (26 June 2006):
 If you are an able student and mature for your age then you shouldn't be welcoming the attentions of your teacher. No one here can tell you if you are getting special attention as 'teacher pet' because you are intelligent (...and therefore the sort of pupil that motivate teachers to teach) or because he fancies you. Relationships between teachers and pupils are illegal in the UK due to breach of trust...he would lose his job, his profession and be prosecuted if discovered. Teachers who use the power of their profession to prey on pupils in a sexual way will not just be approaching one pupil but will identify 'special' pupils from various school years. If he hits on you while still at school, he is a sleazy guy. As a pupil, it is normal to develop a 'crush' on a teacher...lots of young girls and boys do that! As a teacher, it is not normal to respond to these advances from pupils. It is professional suicide, and doesn't say much about the integrity of his personality. To answer your question, it doesn't matter if he fancies you or not - it is irrelevant - as a mature girl you should know it is wrong for all sorts of reasons...stick to boys closer to your own age and keep this teacher at arms length for his sake as much as your own.
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female
reader, Wendyg +, writes (26 June 2006):
 No. And even if he did its illegal to engage in any activity between pupil and teacher that is beyond his job. He could lose his career, as well as be brought up on charges if anything were to happen. He is your teacher, he may like you but thats where it should lie. Take heed from some of the postings that you have been a part of on your column and see some of the responses to those. It can only lead to heartache, and you know its wrong.
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