A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I posted a question a few week ago about my soon to be ex husband not speaking to me or having anything to do with me because of lies I told in the past. I got lots of great replies with people saying it is a waiting game, just give it more time. This weekend is contact weekend and normally my husand will not come to the house telling the children to be ready to go when he appears at the gate. This has always driven me mad as I think it is unnecessarily rude. Well this weekend he called my son asking what he wanted to do and my son said he wanted to play computer games with him and have a barbie at home. My husband always cancels if my children suggest him coming to our house but this time he said ok. He sent me a text saying I wasn't allowed to look at him or speak to him! Well my husband turned up with a cold and a hangover and proceeded to act just like he always did when he lived here, drinking my wine, asking for a lift to the station and being fed etc etc. It was impossible not to speak to him but when I spoke he would not answer and would turn his back on me. I still desperately want to talk to this man but he won't let me. I don't feel I can let him in the house anymore if I am going to be cut dead like this and the chldren really notice. I so much want to speak to him about the past but he will not answer any e-mail, text or letter but still feels he can take from me when he wants. How can i get him to respond or should I just toughen up and let him get on with it and stop being so amenable?
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female
reader, taina1980  +, writes (6 July 2008):
whatever he is mad about must be pretty big... he is soon to be ex husband right.... nothing you can do will fix what is already damaged...your ex wants to hold a grude...youve already tried to explain things but he won't listen...he needs a lot of time to get over the situation... don't email, text, or phone... possibly a letter will work...& after tno contact... let him come to you...
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (6 July 2008):
Wow, your ex is soooooooooooo rude!!!
I can understand he may be hurt or whatever but that doesnt mean its ok for him to silently abuse you like he is. Not only is it hurtful to you but it is setting a VERY bad example for your children.
Your children are wittnesing very bad behaviour and chilren learn what they live.
I suggest you tell your husband about what this will do to your children. Maybe he will be polite for the childrens sake! Tell him you dont expect him to act like your best buddy, but a decent hello and how are you is expected.
Hopefully he will see how wrong it is...but I have a feeling he may not.
If not then you def do need to sit down with your kids and explain waht is going on. Let them know that their fathers behaviour is not how you treat somoene no matter how hurt they are.
If he feels so angry about what ever happened then suggest he stays away from you as much as possible. Sometimes people just need space. Hopefully he will come around.
Take care
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A
female
reader, duskyrowe +, writes (6 July 2008):
 What a childish little baby he is. If he cancels the last minute, because it involves being at your house. I would go to a solicitor and tell them that you want to sort out proper access to the children.
Refuse to have this prat inside your house and drinking your wine. if that had been me I would poured the wine all over his stupid head. Unless he acts like a civil ADULT and not some LITTLE BOY who gets out of his pram, then I would send him a stern email telling him unless he GROWS UP and be civil to you.... You will go to the solicitor and take action for proper access, because children need routine and to see their father too. Make sure he sees the children outside of your home, otherwise he will continue to take the p**s.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): I think you should toughen up. Your not together anymore. You don't need to be pushed around by him.
Be weary that you do have children. If you refuse to do that then he might cut off totally from his children. This is a extreme though, and just something I thought you know as a slim possibilty.
Don't assume it though. Don't back down. Say if you want you to do all of that then you need to start talking to me, or take the kids out.
Again, you've been pushed around by him for long enough and need to stop that happening.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 July 2008): god what a jerk! you need to distanc eyourself from this guy, you and your children will jsut continue to get hurt. Do not let him take from you. do not let him back in your house unless he agrees to act like a human being. im sorry you are in this situation, hope this helped.xoxo
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