A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I Have a bit of a problem.im 18 years old and i have an older sister who is 20 years old, i have been with my partner for 2 years and we are expecting our first child which we are very excited about, however my sister is becoming really jelouse and snappy with me, this is because she has been trying for a baby for a year and half and nothing has happend, everytime i talk about my baby, like names, things i have brought ect.. she gets funny and i can tell she is jelouse. my boyfriend said just ignore it and that she has to get used to it, its like she cant stand the fact that im happy. i have a great boyfriend who i love, a baby on the way, looking for a nice home for our little family coming, and he wants to marry me, she also has a partner but they have a dull relationship and cheat on eachother which isnt my problem. i just think there is no need to get like this with me, she has been putting me down a bit and giving me dirty looks, we have always been close so im feeling upset. she also thinks she's brilliant with kids and thinks i wont be as good just because i dont have alot of experience with looking after kids like she does, but i know i will be fine as its my own child and you just learn along the way. i cant help that im pregnant and i dont feel guilty just because im pregnant first, this is my baby and i think she should stop with the jelousy as im sure oneday she will get a baby of her own, her and her partner take drugs sometimes like cocaine and speed, which i think is terrible, especially when trying for a baby. she is just stuck up just because she has a better job than me, but i couldn't care less, as long as im supporting my child and my partner is supporting me and the baby with a good job too thats all that matters. do you have some advice on what i should say to her without sounding nasty. its just im getting fed up with it now. what should i do??
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female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (23 June 2010):
 You will need to ignore it, its your important time and you need to think of yourself and the baby, for both your healths. Whereas your sister is putting her chances for a baby at risk when she takes drugs. Drugs make your chances of pregnancy low. maybe tell her this. for her own health and for her future.
A
female
reader, LilPixie +, writes (23 June 2010):
 It's understandable that your sister is jealous, but her reactions are kind of out of order.
Taking drugs is not going to help her get pregnant. And the cheating is probably stressing her out a little, even if she's doing it herself and stress can lower the chances of getting pregnant too. She does know that, right? And I hope that she uses protection when sleeping with other people because if she was to catch an STD it might ruin her chances of getting pregnant forever.
I would advise you to talk to your sister and tell her to see a doctor. Needing up to a year to get pregnant is normal and nothing to worry about, but seeing as she's been trying for so long might suggest that there is something wrong... Nothing bad, just something that is stopping her getting pregnant.
Don't let her put you down. Just because she's had more experience it doesn't mean that she's better with children. Neither me or my sister have children, but I know how you're feeling on that one, my sister thinks she's better with children too just because she's had more experience with them.
Remind her that she's going to be an Aunt soon and that she will have a baby of her own one day but that right now she has a niece or nephew on the way that needs her.
Congratulations on the baby by the way :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 June 2010): I would say "I'm sorry you cannot be happy for me but I need you to know that I am so thrilled about my pregnancy that I had hoped we could share this special time, as sisters". You may get no response but at least you have spoken up for yourself, made it clear she cannot get to you and invited her to be a good sister - and lets face it she will be an Auntie soon too. Its up to her what she does. However do NOT let it spoil your time - if she cannot put her jealousy to one side avoid her.
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