A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony Aunts I am finally in a commited relationship after some help from this website a few years ago. Thank you. But relationships seems to become more complicated as I progress further into them. Everything seemed 'lovely dovely' for the first year or so, then the two yeaar mark happened. New problems began to arise and my girlfriend is begining to feel turbulant and unsure. I am unsure what to do to reassure her that everything is ok. I try to comfort her, but in return she gives me apathetic responses. She is becoming depressed and stressed, and its begining to worry me. If anyone in this advice collum is married or in a long term relationship or possibly went through this same path - please help. Yours SincerelyAnonymous Writer.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 January 2010): I've been with my bf for 3 1/2 years and at some points we could easily slip into a routine and I can understand how couples do feel a bit different after a while together. We make time to talk to each other and I would encourage you to talk to your girlfriend openly. It is valuable because you may feel you know them inside out but you have a good chat once and it is easier to open up to each other about what you're thinking or feeling in the future.Once you've done this, its all about keeping things fun. Make sure each day you laugh together and be spontaneous. Surprise her with a bunch of flowers or go for a drive out to somewhere you've never been and have a stroll around and a nice lunch. Just because you've been together for a while doesn't mean the dates have to stop! It will probably give her something to smile about and look forward to and take away her feelings of uncertainty.Take Care :)
A
female
reader, lola29  +, writes (10 January 2010):
i agree with the Caringguy - u need to have a heart to heart conversation with her, or else this will go downhill quite fast.
It's not easy to be committed at such a young age as ur self, and thing like this will always pop up and is considered quite normal.
goodluck
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 January 2010):
This happens quite often. One person just feels like it is becoming routine, or becomes a little unsure, or there can sometimes be things outside of the relationship. My girlfriend became a little unsettled herself because of things that had happened before she met me. So don't think it's you, because it may not be. I sat my girlfriend down and was honest. I said that I was worried because she seemed to be pulling away, and I said I wanted to do anything I could to fix it and help her. Then it all came out, along with a lot of tears as well. The best thing you can do is sit down and ask her how she is feeling, and if there is anything you can do to just make her feel reassured. Tell her you love her and you need to know how she is feeling because you care. And listen as well. Hopefully, she'll open up.
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