A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:My spouse has a blog where they routinely express themselves on it.I, by contrast, am very selective as to who knows what about my life and whatever I am / we are going through.I have told my spouse about my need for privacy, and while she says she understands this, we have gone back and forth several times over this topic. The last discussion actually ended with my spouse wanting to close their blog.They feel like they have been considerate of my wishes to not have certain aspects of my life put out there, whereas I have pointed out where they have not.I want my spouse to be able to express their thoughts but without airing dirty laundry or anything that is very personal to me. They are very adamant that there is no compromise to this. I disagree, but I have failed in trying to find more of a middle ground. What can be done? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (19 December 2010):
Your middle ground is this - she doesn't get to post things about you on her blog, or anything serious about your relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 December 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionGood feedback, thanks to everyone. My initial post also poses the question of middle ground. Is there any in my case?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): There is no need whatsoever for her to be blogging about your relationship online. Be firm with her and tell her how uncomfortable u feel about it. If she cant find anything else to blog about then she will have to close her blog, simple as that. There are many topics she can talk about...but you and your private relationship is not one of them.
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A
female
reader, YouWish  +, writes (18 December 2010):
 CaringGuy is absolutely right. It *is* a major deal to you. I'm also a private person who would be mortified beyond belief if my husband was spilling the intricate details of my life onto the very public internet. Who knows who might be searching for me?! What if I'm a candidate for a job and the hiring manager Googles me (that's more common than you'd think!) and find out about every little argument, embarrassing events, or whatever?
It is a respect issue as well as a trust issue. You don't want your life to be put on display. It would be a huge deal breaker for me too.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (18 December 2010):
You're not being straight enough with her. This lack of privacy is actually a major issue for you, and she's not giving a damn at all.
So, if you want privacy, then maybe you need to make this more of a deal breaker. Tell her that putting stuff out there about you is totally unacceptable, and that it shows how little respect she has for you.
If she still does it, then maybe you need to decide whether this is the woman for you. I, like you, would be very uncomfortable about my life being out there for everyone to know, especially if I didn't want it. It would be a deal breaker for me, and it needs to be for you.
After all, how can you trust her with your secrets, or your life? You can't, at all. And someone you can't trust is someone you shouldn't have in your life.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (18 December 2010):
 Married or not, everyone has the right to privacy. There's actually a law on it. You must be more outspoken with your wife and tell her not to publish anything without your consent.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (18 December 2010): Their right to express themselves ends where your right to privacy begins. If you don't want anything about yourself on their blog then they do not have the right to mention you or anything thing about you.
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