A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey aunts! Quick advice please!I post a few years ago asking well venting about my situation. When I was 22 I got pregnant by this guy I was dating and I thought the best decision for me was to have an abortion. At the time the guy agreed to me having one and we agreed to splitting the cost of it because we both were in college with jobs. Only a few of my friends knew I was pregnant but I never told my parents, they still don’t know till this day. I just pushed it out of my head. But when the time came to pay for the abortion, the guy backed out. So I decided to pay for it alone and I never talked to him again, I did say some mean words to him before I blocked him but I was so frustrated, scared and I had 2 jobs while in college. But I went through it and I never looked back or talked about it. I was sad at first and I did feel like I’m a bad person and I still do sometimes but I knew I couldn’t afford a child, especially with a guy who couldn’t help me pay for the cost of the abortion. A few months went back and I wanted to know why did he back out, I reached out to him and we agreed to meet up. We talked and he told me he never agreed to me having an abortion that’s why he didn’t want to help me pay for it. I got upset because that was a complete lie. I told him that we should just part ways and go on with our lives. He got upset and told me he loved me and that he wants us to stay in each other’s lives and how scared he was. I disagree and wished him well. Now it’s been years since that happened, I’m doing very well so I decided to make a Facebook and he sent me a friend request and a message asking to talk to me. I told him no and I blocked and deleted my Facebook. So now I’m on Snapchat which is my only form of social media, he’s found me on there and now he’s messaging me. My question is should I just delete my Snapchat? I can make a new one easily but I honestly don’t know how he keeps finding me. Am I being rude? I don’t want to talk to him, I wish him well but as far as us talking or hanging out I prefer not too. One of my friends said I should talk to him but I really don’t think I should, it’s been years and I don’t want to relive the past. Any advice?!?
View related questions:
abortion, facebook Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (29 September 2017):
 You don't need to delete facebook or snap chat their is an option to block him from being able to contact you. Don't listen to him or your friends, this is about you and what you went through with him. If you do not want to talk to him then don't. I wish you well.
A
female
reader, Dionee'  +, writes (28 September 2017):
 I wouldn't advise that you get rid of all social media because of him. What about your life?
Do not even talk to this guy again because it will just upset you further. I think that his conscience has been haunting him and he is trying to clear it by talking to you again.
I think that if blocking him isn't enough then reporting him to support is the only way.
In future OP, please try to stay away from guys like this even if there is a part of you that's wanting to ask questions and get closure. Sometimes the best closure is saying goodbye for good.
...............................
A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (27 September 2017):
 Why should you delete your social media when you can just block him?
You don't OWE him squat. You don't have to talk to him or acknowledge him.
If you make a Facebook page and he contacts you again - tell him to stop contacting you and BLOCK him. Make your page private and only add people you know. When you have a public Facebook page ANYONE can search it and look at it anytime they want. HENCE using the privacy settings.
When making a snapchat account you use 1. your birthday 2. you make a username and 3 you use your email to verify it - so if YOU use your OWN name for the account and your OWN email (one that he might still know) it's NOT that hard for anyone to find you.
So my advice would be to open a NEW e-mail account.(just for your snapchat) Something that DOES NOT have your real/full name on it. After you have a new email, you make a new snapchat account with a NEW username (again something DOES NOT have your real/full name on it). And then you chat to whomever you want. IF he contacts you... BLOCK him and KEEP blocking him.
You went through something pretty tough ALL by yourself. He was partly the reason you had to go through it, and he dropped the ball and then later took no responsibility for it what so ever. He left you with the proverbial monkey. And then he had the nerve to want you to keep him around... for what? He wasn't your BF and he certainly wasn't a friend.
I wouldn't talk to him. But I would NOT stop living my life because HE won't leave you alone.
So if you WANT a Facebook page, make SURE you set your privacy setting to high. ADD ONLY people you know in REAL life. IF he contacts you again tell him to LEAVE you alone and that you don't WANT to talk to him or have anything to do with him - BE firm. KEEP a copy of that message. If he contacts you again - CONTACT Facebook.
If you have nothing to say to him then don't talk to him. My guess is he wants to apologize to make HIMSELF feel better for his shitty behavior in the past. He wants you to absolve him so he can stop feeling guilty. If you have moved on from the past, then know that you owe him nothing. He can go kick rocks for all you care.
I don't think talking to him will make him go away (this is why I suggest you DON'T talk to him) I think IF you reach out he will keep trying to be around you. Which is not what you want (I presume).
...............................
A
male
reader, Billy Bathgate +, writes (27 September 2017):
He keeps finding you because he is actively searching for you. You made a mistake reaching out to him the first time. Don't make that mistake again Block him and move on. If you decide to open up a social media account don't use your full name. Keep your settings private.
...............................
|
