A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I am 8 months pregnant with our first child but also have a little girl from a previous relationship who lives with us.My partner and I have been together for 5 years and he just hasnt contributed to the household bills, ever.I have spoken to him at length time and time again about it and he promises he will help but never does.I recently discovered he has been taking out loans and credit cards in his name and giving the funds to his Mother and also saving money for her! all the while never paying me a single penny to look after the house and never buying his unborn child a thing.Since I started my maternity leave my wages wont even cover the rent so I have had to apply for benefits. He knows this but still wont pay out to support us. I feel like I am fighting a loosing battle with him!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (3 August 2010): He has no idea how to manage finances. He is not giving his money to you or to his mother. He is BORROWING money to give to his mother - including from credit cards - nothing more stupid. Whatever you do, do not mingle your finances - don't add his name to your house, any lease, your car, etc. His credit is likely a major disaster.
Since he is the father of your unborn child, I would not just shove him out the door. Try to encourage him to take a class in financial management. You will need him in the future to be fiscally responsible, so this is in your and your baby's best interest. Tell him it is for his own good to not get into debt on the credit cards, and to seek financial counseling for help.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (3 August 2010):
 Kick the loser out.
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (3 August 2010):
For God's sake, get away from him. He's bleeding you dry, and you're going to end up in debt with nowhere to live and no way to support your child. This man values his mother more than you and your child. You have got to leave him, now. Or you'll end up with nothing.
Go to this site.
http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/
and find out where your nearest office is. Then make an appointment to see them. They give totally FREE advice, and will be able to help you. But you need to leave this man of yours. He's destroying any chance you and your child have of having a decent life.
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