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My parents won't let me go out. I feel like running away.

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Question - (23 May 2008) 10 Answers - (Newest, 14 October 2010)
A female United Kingdom, anonymous writes:

I feel depressed and I believe its because my parents wont let me do anything. I now feel like running away to give myself a better future (it will be hard on my own) and to be happy again but is it worth risking being disowned by my family? and bringing shame on them?

I've also felt depressed for years but I've never spoken to anyone about it as my parents will not let me go out unless I have a good reason and I dont know what to do. Help please

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A reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2010):

Hi im like you tbh ive been too one frends house 1 time and thats it i dont get to play out or anything i sit in all day of corse goto school but thats it we go to the shop but whith our dad my freinds are always asking wanna come out with me we have a write laugh

i see people on face book SOandSO has had a gr8 day out with so and so my post i have had a great day inside (sarcasm) it so unfair will i ever be let out im so lonely parents say learn from youre own experiences i say what experinces i have hardly no freinds and am most hated in school :( im really sad i wanna go out wiht my freinds then i can be the 1 whos had a gr8 day out i feel ur pain its killing me :'( sigh....

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A female reader, manderz519 United States +, writes (29 January 2010):

same... :( i wanted to go to my towns community center tonite with a bunch of friends..they even have ppl supervising ...ive gone before with my parents permission..and also without.. but they said no and now im sitting here at my dads office where i go everyday.. because i cant stay home alone..and no one invites me to go anywhere because they know i cant..i really wanna die

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009):

I understand where you're coming from .. I'm 16 and before they would let me go out but they'd be so overprotective.. now they been letting me do stuff little by little.. don't worry the time will come for you to go out and go clubbing and whatever you want to do .. trust me I compare my life with other girls my age and they can do whatever they like and their parents don't care but think about it those are the "hoes" the girls that do drugs the bad ones.. because they don't have anyone that cares for them and wants the best for them .. your time will come one step at a time.. no need to rush .. trust me .. I feel like that ALOT of times and plus my dad is so NEGATIVE ! everything I do he turns it into bad ... but now that I have a job I have no time for friends.. so it's better this way

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 February 2009):

I got the same problem. well its my best friends birthday today and i told my parents that for like a milli times that we wanted to go to the mall. then my parents go on with their business anyways and didnt let me go to the mall, so my friend jus went with someone else, I didn't want her to have a stupid birthday.. well yeah its just sad how my parents are so strict and they dont even care that this is important to me ! ugh

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Yeah I'm going to study Computer Science at Oxford Brookes but getting them to allow me to go there was extremely difficult.

I have tried and sat down with my parents and tell them how I feel, only yesterday I said to my mum I need time-out, I need a break from the family to get my head sorted out and let me do this by staying out at uni but she said No. She said the way I've been behaving recently she won't let me go to uni at all. I have tried and tried to keep my anger under control but it is difficult and end up crying for hours.

I only go back to school for four days for a max 4 hours. I'm scared to talk to him coz Im scared what he might think and he's always so busy and when I have tried to talk to him on his own we've always been interrupted. I think he knows I'm depressed but doesnt want much contact with me which makes me think why should I go to him if he doesnt want to talk to or help me.

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A female reader, Fiona xxx United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2008):

Fiona xxx agony auntMany of us grow up wishing they had more freedom, or wish their parents were not so strict. I know that was often the case for me.

Please don't run, you will be running for ever, and it doesn't change the problems.

It sounds like you are intelligent, and are you going to university soon? or possibly in a year or so? Just wondered by the way you mention exams.

If so, that could be the new start you need, which will give you some space.

Parents always say they mean well and only care don't they?! It must be true for you, perhaps they just worry a lot.

Are you an only child by any chance?

Just wondering, because I am, and I think it makes parents worry more, or have its own set of worries. For example if you do something, or are naughty as a kid, you Mum doesn't have anybody else to compare you to. Perhaps that continues for many years, into when you are 18 or 19 like now.

I am sure it is hard on both sides when you grow up.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008):

If you run away then you could end up living a horrible life and become worse then you are now.

Have your discussions with your parents been in a row or has it been a civilized talk?

Maybe you shouls sit them down at the table and talk to them about how upset you are that they don't seem to trust you. Try not to loose your temper when they say they do (which they probably will) and ask them what it is that you're aloud to do that suggests this. Tell them that you are a adult now and that you need more resposibility and that it is time that you were in control of your own life.

Explain that you don't want to run around that streets at night getting drunk and doing things with guys, and tell them that they should know this. See what they say.

You should talk to your teacher, I'm sure he wont mind if you tell him. You need to talk to someone close to you.

Are you going to college next year?

Good Luck. x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 May 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I'm 19...I've told my parents I know they dont trust me and they say they do but they dont do anything that allows me to prove that.

I finished school yesterday and now only go back for exams.

I have trust issues as I was sexually abused which no-one apart from one male teacher I really trust and get on with but I dont want to bother him with my problem.

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A female reader, lexilou United Kingdom +, writes (24 May 2008):

lexilou agony auntHow old are you x

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A reader, anonymous, writes (23 May 2008):

How old are you?

If you are feeling depressed you definatly should talk to someone. Don't bottle it up. If you got to school, is there a councellor? Do you have a close friend you have there that you could talk to? Or the same if you go to college or you work?

Please don't bottle it up any longer. You have taken the first step by talking to us here on this site.

Maybe you could talk to your parents about how you feel. Try not to be mad at them, they are only trying to look out for their best interests. If you explained that you knew this and that you are now responsible and that they should trust you by his stage in your life then maybe they would consider giving you more freedom.

If that fails talk to them about how depressed you have been feeling.

Good luck.

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