A
female
age
26-29,
*hana4567
writes:Mod Note: 2 questions from the same poster have been merged1. I have a secret boyfriend at school which my parents immediately knew when our adviser heard the news and told them..Since my parents are strict on dating because they're Asians,they were very disappointed to me and requested me to break up with him...But I admire my boyfriend so much that i don't want to lose him or even just hurt him..What can i do?:(2. I learned that my boyfriend have had anger management issues,and that when he broke up with his ex,he was able to wreck things..Now that my parents found out that I've been going out with this guy secretly,they requested me to break up with him..How do i break up with him without hurting him?
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female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (10 December 2010):
 I think it would be a good idea to have your parents in the same room as you call him and tell him that unfortunately, due to parental request, you have to stop being his girlfriend. I'm concerned for you that you say he has "anger management issues" which is kind of code wording for "he has an awful temper and may hurt things or people when he's angry".
So your parents can be there to help you deal with whateve he comes back with. If he's your age, then he understands that you have to do what your parents have asked.
Honey, it's never a good idea to have a "secret boyfriend"--that usually means there's a problem with the relationship in the first place. I know you think your parents are strict but here you have now managed to find a guy with "anger management issues." This isn't good. As you get older, you'll have more freedom to make your own choices and decisions, but right now, your parents are responsible for your safety and well-being. If you do well in school, you can go to a good university and well, then your life will be whatever it is you decide it will be.
I would do this by phone with your parents nearby to help you. If there's a problem with the way he handles it, then his parents need to be informed as well.
Okay? I hope that helps.
A
male
reader, advisorX  +, writes (10 December 2010):
 You could be 13-15 yrs old, still minor obviously. You dont have any choice but to do what your parents want you to do. It will be better if you will tell him the truth, because there's nothing you could do to defy what they want, sooner or later they might do something to separate you from each other if you wont stop your relationship. At least the bright side is you can still see each other in school. Tell him that all you two have to do is wait for the right time for you to be old enough and get in a relationship again, and by that time your parents wont interfere anymore. always remember that patience is a virtue.
another piece of advice; a boyfriend with anger management problem is not a good attitude, so better to encourage him to get rid of that bad issue.
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