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My parents don't like my LDR boyfriend

Tagged as: Family, Long distance, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (19 January 2022) 7 Answers - (Newest, 24 January 2022)
A female Malaysia age 16-17, anonymous writes:

I uhm hi...these days I have been very stressed with school and stuff. I have a strict Asian parents and they doesn't like my long distance relationship boyfriend, what should I do? I love him so much and we've known each other for a long time now.

My parents took my phone away, thinking that I won't text him anymore but I'm still texting him bcs yea I love him so much and they can't stop me. I told him abt what happened and he was very worried..he said would take me away with him once he became an adult (he's a year older than me...so yeah next year he'll be an adult) but I don't think I can stand being like a prisoner in my house anymore. What should I do? Should I wait until next year for him to kidnap me? Lol kidnap

I really can't stand being in this family anymore..all they want is for me to score, I've done my best but it's still not enough for them.

Please help

View related questions: long distance, text

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A female reader, QueenCupcake United Kingdom +, writes (24 January 2022):

QueenCupcake agony auntI remember being your age and feeling exactly the same way. Honestly, I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but your parents are just looking out for you, you are very young and you are still there responsibility. Have you met this boy in person before?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2022):

Typo correction:

"Have your parents ever met him, do [they] even know what he looks like?"

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2022):

How did you meet this boy? My guess is over the internet. Have your parents ever met him, do the even know what he looks like? Do you? Why is he long-distance?

First, I'd like to make it abundantly clear; uncles and aunts at Dear Cupid do not encourage young people to do things behind their parents' backs. You are clearly being untrustworthy; when they have taken your phone away, and you find a phone to continue talking to a boy against their wishes.

My advice is to respect your parents' and do as they say. Some boy somewhere talking about taking you away from them sounds pretty scary to me!!!

If they can't stop you, then you might place yourself at risk; if it turns-out this boy you think you're in-love with may not even be someone about your age, but instead an online-predator looking for a rebellious underaged teenage-girl who will disobey her parents and sneak around behind their backs. They make the perfect victims for these monsters! That's usually what you'll find-out about the victim; when you read the horror story about their disappearance.

If you've never actually met this boy, he might be an adult posing as a teenager. I won't even address the absurd comment about being in-love with someone at only 13! Your schoolwork is probably suffering; because you are addicted to your phone, and fixated on some boy you've never met in-person.

You can't stand your own family, yet you're so in-love with some boy long-distance. Does this make any sense to you?

He may be nothing like the person you've created him to be in your fantasies. Does he hate his parents too? That's what pedophiles tell naive young girls over the internet; to make them think he understands them, and to gain their trust.

I hope your parents discover that you have not respected their wishes. You don't deserve to have your phone; until you improve on your schoolwork, and show them the respect they deserve.

If you don't listen to your own parents who love you, but would rather run to strangers online to ask for advice instead. I'd say that is very very sad. We don't know you, but we would hope that you are safe; and deeply cared for by your family. They are supposed to be concerned about your grades in school. They'd be terrible parents if they weren't. They are also concerned about YOU!

I don't believe you're doing your best, you're probably just doing enough to get by; so you can spend more time on the phone with your LDR boyfriend. I think your parents know what's best for you when you're just 13!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2022):

I think you are in love with the idea of love, not the man himself. Your parents see you wasting your life on a fantasy.You are a child, far too young to date or get serious or fall in love. Especially with someone older.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2022):

You think you know this boy but you really dont. Is he really who he says he is? Is he really the age he tells you? Anyone can send you a photograph of someone else. Anyone can pretend to be someone else online. Your parents most likely have your best interests at heart as you will learn when you are older. For now, concentrate on school, make friends with people at school and try and forget about your long distance 'boyfriend'.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (21 January 2022):

This man you've been communicating with is a stranger to you in all reality.

The fact that he's talking about taking you away from your parents is extremely troubling.

It means that he doesn't want what's best for you. It also means that he is as immature as you are. You are still too young to be contemplating a life away from the SAFETY of your parents and putting yourself at the mercy of a stranger, whose motives for getting you away from your parents lie in what's between your legs. He could be all kinds of horrible and dangerous. You don't know him. He can pretend to be just the person you've been looking for. You won't know which one is true until it's too late for you to do anything about it.

I know that people of your age think you know more than your parents and your elders, but the opposite is true and once you have more life experience, more maturity and possibly children of your own, will you be able to recognise the immaturity of your post.

Stay safe and stay where you are. You are too young and innocent and naive to be flirting with men on the internet.

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A male reader, kenny United Kingdom + , writes (21 January 2022):

kenny agony auntWith all due respect, taking into consideration the age bracket that you specify, i would say that you don't love him, you think that you do.

You may have strict parents, but being a parent myself they just want the best for you and see you do well in your schooling and be a success.

Your parents don't want to see you make a mistake with someone long distance and jeopardise your future.

I would advise listening to your parents, concentrate on your studies, and concentrate on love and dating when you are a bit older maybe.

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