A
female
age
36-40,
*alligurl
writes:I have been talking to this guy online for almost a year now. We talk daily and seems like a great guy. He wants me to fly out to his state and meet him. I really want to but im a little nervous. I'm 21 and he is a bit older he is 30 and is divorced. My biggest concern is safety??? What should I do.
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female
reader, starfairy  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 Hmmm...Get him to do the gentlemanly thing, HE fly to YOU. He can book into a local hotel and you can go out on a few dates in public places. Not stereotyping him but you don't want to be the next girl abducted by internet lover story in the paper. Maybe suggest a date with your friend and her boyfriend or something?
A
male
reader, Johnnyboy03 +, writes (15 March 2009):
 He really should fly to meet you the first time. I would bring it up with him that you would feel more comfortable if he came to visit you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): He needs to visit you.
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A
male
reader, Pointblank66 +, writes (15 March 2009):
Any guy can seem like a "nice" guy over the phone but that doesn't mean he is one in reality. I suggest that if your hearts set on it to take a friend with you for backup. Rather safe the sorry.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 March 2009): PLEASE DON'T GO, I BEG YOU PLEASE DON'T. He's older and he is the man, he should fly to where you are.
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A
female
reader, triedit  +, writes (15 March 2009):
 Just another thought....why doesn't he fly out to see YOU?
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A
female
reader, triedit +, writes (15 March 2009):
My husband and I met online and we are completely happy (for almost 10 years now)
BUT. This could get strange. Where would you be staying? Can you go back home anytime you want to? I would only do this if he's going to pay for your hotel room (where you will stay at least the first night by yourself) and if he will agree that for the first meet you are in a public place--like dinner or something. DO NOT let him pick you up. Meet him there. And be VERY VERY sure if you leave together that he is ok. Make sure your plane ticket allows you to go back on the next flight if you need to.
If he really cares about you he will understand your need for safety and provide what he can. He will want you to be safe and comfortable.
Please also make sure someone knows exactly where you are going, this guys name, address, and phone number, and when you expect to return. It might also be a good idea to call that person every few days to let them know you are ok.
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